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To All a Goodnight (1980)

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David Hess was no stranger to the world of celluloid horror when he stepped behind the camera for his directorial debut (and swan song as of this printing). As an actor he made us cringe as Krug, the scariest of the hoodlums featured in Last House on the Left and his rapist take on Of Mice and Men in House on the Edge of the Park left our jaws dropped firmly on the floor. So he must have seemed a perfect choice for the ill fated To All a Good Night.

This film is mostly known among horror completists as one of the first slasher flicks to feature a killer Santa. A sorority house is closing down for the holidays but a few of the horny young ladies have stayed behind, tempting fate by drugging their house mother and inviting a few of their male friends to stay the night. The lascivious horde of femme fatales is anchored by the innocent-girl-next-door Nancy (Jennifer Runyon). In fact she is the only one the retarded groundskeeper (i.e. red herring #1), Fast Ralph (Buck West) can tolerate. But now the group find themselves isolated from the world as an axe-wielding maniac in a Santa suit slices and dices his ways through the cast.

To All a Goodnight is ridiculous in every respect yet it’s pretty enjoyable. On the outside, it may seem poorly shot and acted (except for the beautiful Jennifer Runyon who has sadly disappeared from the scene) though the body count isn’t bad and the ending holds an interesting twist. But dig a little deeper and read John’s interview with Mr. Hess and you’ll see a set plague with problems. Hess certainly cannot be blamed for all of the film’s mistakes.

But viewer beware, if you’re not a fan of slice and dice To All a Goodnight can become tedious and sometimes it’s a challenge to make it to the next kill. Things liven up when a sex starved police officer gets a bit close with one of the sorority sisters, but that’s well into the last half of the film. This movie was meant to be enjoyed with a group a friends who can get each other from one death to the next.

So why do I want to give Mr. Hess a second chance in the director’s chair? Krug scares the hell out of me!

Proto-Slashers #11 – Alice, Sweet Alice (1976)

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Looking at the flicks that paved the way for Halloween and the heyday of slasher movies.

ALICE, SWEET ALICE (1976)

Proto-Slashers frequently contain more plot and depth of character than later straight up classic slashers. A case in point is Alfred Sole’s killer-on-the-loose feature “Alice, Sweet Alice” (a.k.a. “Communion”, a.k.a. “Holy Terror”). Set in 1960’s New Jersey, “Alice” creates a perfect sense of time and place as a young girl prepares for her first communion. Unfortunately (or fortunately, since this is a horror flick), she’s murdered on the big day and her slightly older sister, Alice (Paula Sheppard) becomes the main suspect. A series of murders and knife attacks follows, generating some truly great set pieces.

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If it’s true that a thriller is only as good as its villain, then “Alice” fits somewhere close to the top of the killer class. This knife-wielder is genuinely creepy and unforgettable, dressed in a yellow raincoat (in an oft noted nod to Nicholas Roeg’s essential “Don’t Look Now”) and wearing a clear mask with painted features. Equally unforgettable is Alphonso DeNoble as Mr. Alphonso, a very large cat-obsessed potential pedophile!

 

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“Alice” is one in a string of deeply Catholic horror movies that emerged in the 70’s (“The Exorcist”, “The Omen”, “The House of Mortal Sin”, etc.). Here, the rituals and icons of the religion are used to eerie and atmospheric effect to explore themes of guilt and sin. Key scenes are set in a church or a manse populated with priests, nuns and the devout. In fact, the atmosphere is primary to the flick’s effectiveness, as the characters deal with their guilt and suspicions about who’s doing the slashing. The cast adds to the overall oppressive atmosphere, giving strong and believable performance with the stellar Sheppard a standout. Also of note is a very young Brooke Shields, here in her much exploited acting debut.

Though “Alice” is sometimes deliberately paced, it’s punctuated by some terrific suspense scenes. It’s a very good movie, almost a great one, and necessary viewing for horror movie fans. And that mask is enough to give anyone nightmares.

Home, Sweet Home (1981)

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Once upon a time there was this bodybuilding guru named Jake. Jake Steinfeld actually, but he went by Body by Jake and built an empire as trainer to the stars. He was rumored to be the only man to make Steven Spielberg throw up. There’s just a touch of irony that he caused such mayhem during a workout and not because of a viewing of Jake’s classic horror opus Home Sweet Home. Jake made his ominous debut here as The Killer, a Deranged PCP-Shootin’-Mother-Hater who stumbles upon some kind of recording bigwig and his Thanksgiving gathering. Jake laughs a lot, especially when he kills and to his credit, I laughed a lot too, so he must have been onto something…

vlcsnap-1768301Featuring notorious producer Don Edmonds (Ilsa She Wolf of the SS), Home Sweet Home kind of has a lot going for it. For one, it features mostly adults instead of teens. Sure, they’re still horny as hell, but there’s something palpable about the characters. The women are gorgeous and look to be of various ages. And the film has heart. Sure, it’s a kind of mindless and confused heart, but the acting is decent and there’s a real feeling that the filmmakers were shooting for something. Sometimes it just takes that little extra edge to make a movie work. OK, maybe work is a misleading word. Ah whatever, Home Sweet Home is also downright hilarious for all the wrong reasons and I’ll totally admit it… I liked this movie! In fact, I liked it a lot. So there.

The movie kicks off with a bang; Jake goes on a quick killing spree involving some guy with a beer and then an old lady. Then we cut to what I thought was a talking mime with an electric guitar – complete with a speaker strapped to his back! After careful consideration, I came to realize this mime was indeed a member of the Kiss Army! Remember them? If you do, you’re about as old as me, and that’s awesome. Anyway, aside from the annoying rock fan, there are some silly and sexy hijinks a bit of fluff and then finally Jake swoops in on his party hungry victims and puts some foot to ass.

vlcsnap-1620381There’s not really too much else to it. Luckily, the Kiss Army freak dies – he SO deserves it – and most of the cast goes along with him. Things move rapidly towards total chaos and then BAM, the obligatory shock ending. Not bad for a movie made in 1981.

As far as I’m aware, this is the only turkey day slasher (please let me know if this is wrong). I got a kick out of Eli Roth’s fake trailer in Grindhouse, simply titled Thanksgiving. One has to wonder if maybe a little bit of Jake rubbed off on Eli (Wow, that put an interesting picture in my head!). Just like that yearly celebration of indulgence, the world can certainly make room for one more helping of holiday sleaze. A feast for the soul, I say.

And please check out my Home, Sweet Home photo gallery.

The Year of SOV: Blood Lake (1987)

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I don’t know why when horror fanatics hear the word “obscure” they think they have to see that movie! I mean, maybe it’s obscure for a reason! It’s kind of a sickness we have, to hunt down the rarest of horror, especially slashers. Goes to prove that we are a passionate bunch. But are we also a bunch of fools? See, I pulled out one of those self-reflective questions.

Blood Lake certainly isn’t the worst film I’ve ever seen. And parts of it are alright. I liked the cast and the killer’s motivation is, uh, different, if a little far fetched, but as a whole, Blood Lake is just not very engaging. Unless of course, randy Tony (Travis Krasser) was on screen.

Seriously. How old is this kid? He’s absolutely hilarious and dare I say it, carries the damn film on his back! Yeah, Tony! And a definite shout out should go to Voyager. You, my friends, are rocking!

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Blood Lake is about six teens (two are practically pre-teens and very well may be, it’s hard to tell), who venture out to a vacation house for a weekend of water skiing, sunning, eating, booze and off-screen sex. Mostly it’s just skiing and eating, with a nice extra long scene featuring the drinking game Quarters (my god, the 80s were beyond words!). After a lot of nothing, this creepy guy shows up and starts killing people. Then someone stops him. The End.

I know what your asking, “But Amanda By Night, what is it all about?” I don’t think I could answer that, but for a film with a whole lot of nothing, there is something likeable about it. For shot on video, it’s well shot, with certain outdoor scenes even looking a bit film-like (at least the daytime shots). The characters aren’t particularly interesting, but are played with some heart – and folks, this is why I love slashers before this current crop of self-aware horror – all of the kids…gulp… get along! And that might be what saved Blood Lake for me (I mean, not counting the uber mulleted Tony!). I thought that although the interaction was not very well staged it still felt pretty normal. They felt like a real group of friends hanging out. And like real life hanging out, it’s a bit boring to watch. But you won’t find any dumb cat fights or asshole behavior and there’s certainly no animosity towards one another.

Maybe the writer and director should have made a teen sex comedy (although they’d need the nudity for that) because they seem to understand the dynamic of friendship. I know, I can’t believe I’m using such a big word like dynamic, but it fits here.

I still say Blood Lake is fine remaining obscure but for someone who is sick of this current trend of self aware irony, this shot on video slasher is a nice retreat. Of course, I can’t sincerely recommend it, unless you love 80s SOV, and if you’re reading this, you know you do!

If you choose to be so gluttonous, you can watch Blood Lake on Veoh! Oh. My. God. You have download something, but I’m on Veoh often and think it’s a decent site. Enjoy!

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Amsterdamned (1988) Review

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You have to hand it to Amsterdamned – it’s got one hell of a gimmick. By 1988, the slasher genre had given us killers who hid their faces behind hockey masks, gasmasks, clown masks, William Shatner masks, owl masks, pillow cases, chunks of stitched-together human skin… It was only a matter of time before one came along in full scuba gear. But Amsterdamned’s killer isn’t just in it for the Lycra and heavy-breathing. He (or she!) actually swims around the canals of Amsterdam, popping out to drag victims to a watery grave! Yes, you read that right. There is popping, there is killing, and there is also a giant knife in case the victims aren’t in the mood for a dip.

Amsterdamned is basically a Dutch giallo, but one that’s as much informed by slashers as it is Italian sleaze. As the murders mount up via a series of violently effective, Jaws-like set pieces, Detective Eric Visser (Huub Stapel) is called in to catch the underwater killer. Visser gets results – he’s the kind of cop who jumps out of his car when stuck in traffic and thwarts a hold-up in a pastry shop (this is Europe) before getting back behind the wheel and driving off. He also looks a bit like Greg Evigan and has a smart-mouthed teenaged daughter who, in a genius subplot, is tracking the killer herself, with the help of a psychic friend.

It’s all terrifically fast-paced, being mainstream enough to appeal to thriller fans but just perverse and nasty enough to satisfy slasher aficionados (check out the killer’s souvenir-stocked lair, as well as the final gruesome reveal of their identity). Fittingly, it’s also swimming with red herrings, the most devious of which is a psychiatry motif that calls the sanity of a number of characters into question.

Dozens of startling stunts, seemingly performed in real-time, lend a genuine sense of danger to the proceedings – none more so than in the first of the movie’s two climaxes, which famously finds cop and killer tearing around the tight waterways of the city in speedboats. The second, equally effective final sequence brings Amsterdamned back to its slasher roots with an unbearably tense bit of hiding-from-the-killer on the part of the film’s final girl.

amsterdamned1For anyone wishing to pick this up – and you should be – the UK’s Nouveaux Pictures/Cine-Excess label has recently released a fine region 2 DVD, featuring an uncut widescreen transfer (the previous UK release on video lost a few seconds of a knife appearing between a girl’s legs) and a front cover that makes it look like a UFO movie. Special features include a nice making-of documentary from the 80s, but best of all is that fact that you can choose from the original Dutch language track with English subtitles or an English dub. The latter has taken some criticism for that fact that many of its actors speak with a sort of vaguely Dutch accent, but I consider it one of the best and least distracting dubs I’ve ever heard (in fact, I even forgot I was watching a dubbed version at times). Either way, with both language options available, everyone should feel catered for. The fear-soaked Amsterdamned is definitely one to splash out on.

Beauty Queen Butcher (1991)

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Usually a lost slasher finally getting released makes a few headlines but here’s one that has gone mostly unnoticed. The S.O.V. Beauty Queen Butcher, filmed way back in 1991, wasn’t released until 2007 by Camp Motion Pictures as part of their Retro 80s Horror Collection. Phyllis Loden (Rhona Brody) is a rather hefty girl tricked into entering a beauty contest by the evil Muffy (Kathryn Mensik). In an attempt to drive Phyllis out of the contest, pageant director Betty Prunish (Jim Boggess in drag) orders Muffy and her friends to make Phyllis’ life a living hell. After Loden’s cat suffers death by microwave in a prank gone wrong, Phyllis swears revenge against everyone connected to the pageant.

Camp Motion Pictures tries to sell Beauty Queen Butcher as a cross between Carrie and Prom Night and promises the film “rips a bloody page from the book of high school horror.” It’s easy to trust Camp’s false claims because the other entries in their Retro 80s Horror Collection are absolute gore fests. Camp should have said “bloodless” instead of bloody. The only thing “shocking” about Beauty Queen Butcher is the film is one of the tamest slashers ever made. It would have struggled to earn a PG-13 if it had been released back in 1991. See that scary goth chick holding the ax on the dvd cover? Well, she ain’t in the film and nobody gets hit with an ax. The only thing that gets butchered during this film is the viewer’s brain cells.

Director Jill Zurborg and co-writer Shane Partlow handle Beauty Queen Butcher as a campy parody of the slasher genre rather than an out right slasher film. Sometimes the jokes work, the nerdy Cameron (Steve Kollin) steals every scene he’s in and the misadventures of a female report covering the murders are pretty funny. Other bits will make you want to claw out your eyes and shove sharpened pencils into your ears. Rhona Brody keeps flashing her panties in one stomach churning running gag. The talent portion of the beauty pageant features a young lady who’s singing voice sounds like a cat being strangled with piano wire and another contestant murders a musical instrument. She blows, fellas, but not in a good way.

There are two major factors keeping Beauty Queen Butcher from being a so-bad-it’s-good entry in the S.O.V. slasher sub-genre. First, there are too many subplots that bog down the story and cause the film to move at a snail’s pace. At 130 minutes, the film is just too long and slow to keep the viewer’s interest. Second, Phyllis Loden is an unsympathetic character. Scenes of Phyllis eating tubs of ice cream and bags of chips or smearing bile colored eyeshadow across her face make Loden look like a slob instead of an underdog.

Fans of S.O.V. slashers will get the most enjoyment from a viewing of Beauty Queen Butcher but the average slasher fan will find the film damn near unwatchable when the pace really slows down. The picture quality of Beauty Queen Butcher is amazingly clear and crisp considering the age of the film. You can actually see Jim Boggess’ five o’clock shadow creep in during his scenes as Betty Prunish. The only extra, other than trailers for Camp Motion Pictures other releases, is a grainy home video shot during the making of Beauty Queen Butcher. The home video ends with a teaser for Beauty Queen Butcher 2.

SOV Summer: Boardinghouse (1982) Review

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*Note: I wrote this review before Code Red’s release of this incredible film.

For those of you unaware of who exactly to blame for the shot-on-video sub-genre, look no further than director David Wintergate who made the first SOV flick, Boardinghouse. It would be easy enough to attack the poor Mr. Wintergate for creating such an ill-conceived movement, but I’ll be damned, Boardinghouse is good stuff.

vlcsnap-2009-08-06-21h50m30s17Of course, you’ll have to forgive its many faults, including the awful opening sequence, which features a very primitive word processor delegating information to the audience regarding the house in question. After a few minutes of obnoxious beeping, I thought I was through with this cheap backyard slasher, but then came the real movie, featuring Wintergate as Jim (looking a lot like Michael Des Barres) practicing the art of telekinesis in his underwear at his office! We soon find out that Jim has put out an ad for tenants, women only no less, to live with him in his large but rather bland house. Being the 80s – which means tons of women with loose morals – the house fills up quicker than a bar on bottomless beer night. In fact, there are so many women, it’s almost impossible to keep track of them all. I ended up calling them “Blonde Floozy” and “Hot Blonde British Girl” just to identify them.

Things are sexy, fun and pretty mild until some sort of unseen force starts slicing its way through the estrogen. Luckily, before each gory scene Wintergate threw in a hallucinogenic warning sign so we can cover our poor, virgin eyes if need be. One of the girls, Victoria (Kalassu… that’s right, simply Kalassu), an up and coming rock star (and the only girl with a discernable personality) also has the touch and during a house party, the couple go toe to toe with the menacing force, which frankly was never that menacing to begin with.

vlcsnap-2009-08-06-22h03m01s87Boardinghouse is a movie that has to be seen to be believed. But be forewarned, you must have the constitution of a true horror hound with a taste for the totally absurd to watch it all the way through. Luckily, I am that person, so this was as good as ice cream on a hot summer day. I don’t think I could exactly pinpoint what was so bewitching about this mess of movie, but I laughed the whole way through and I just simply enjoyed the moxey of Wintergate. Plus Kalassu does show some real presence as an actress and a singer and gives the disgruntled audience one character to hold on to.

Since its original release, Boardinghouse has been relegated to the dusty back shelves of video stores, which is unfortunate, especially in this day and age where we’ve reached a new pinnacle of SOV madness. Few of these newer films can hold a candle to Wintergate’s extremely flawed but effervescent sleaze fest. I hope Wintergate is aware of the lunacy he’s unleashed on genre fans across the globe and I hope he’s smiling.

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Schizoid (1980) Review

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schizoid“Schizoid” feels like a violent slasher made for the Lifetime network.

That isn’t necessarily a bad thing though. That automatically separates it from the pack and creates the illusion you are watching something new, when in fact it is just a melodramatic horror picture that transports you back to that bygone era of Grindhouse fun, minus the sticky floors.

The creepy Klaus Kinski (”The Soldier,” “Crawlspace”) is Dr. Pieter Fales. He is a psychiatrist with an oddball weekly group therapy session.

Would you go to Kinski for counseling?

Didn’t think so – and that alone leaves you to wonder why these people confide in him. Of course that notion is disrupted as the group is methodically being murdered one by one.

The group is filled with many prime suspects including Fales, his insane daughter, the woman he is sleeping with, her jealous ex-husband and a creepy repairman – all of whom have reasons for killing the patients off.

Which one of them is sick enough to carry out these brutal deeds?

The movie comes alive in its depiction of violence, reminding us that this is still a slasher through the long spells of over the top dramatic acting. A scene where a woman is stabbed in the throat with scissors on a waterbed comes off with an unflinching reality.

Kinski has always been great at providing characters that exist in a world of horror, but here he is terribly miscast as the normal person. He is unconvincing when reading the simplest of dramatic dialogue, but that creates a campy aura to the picture.

And, deep down, that is what B-movie aficionados love.

The cute Donna Wilkes (”Angel”) is the doctor’s out of control teenage daughter, Alison. Her performance is solid for this type of picture, even though it doesn’t seem to be an actuate portrait of teenage life.

But, with Kinski for a father, that may be normal.

Dr. Fales is in love with his patient Julie, played by Mariana Hill (“Relentless”) and it is a given to the audience that is never entirely fleshed out. Hill is a decent leading lady that helps to guide the audience through the weird cast of characters.

Her office is being painted by her ex husband, Doug (Craig Wasson, “Body Double”) and he doesn’t approve of her new boyfriend and believes the therapy group is filling her head with lies.

Wasson is an underrated actor who appeared as the lead in Brian DePalma’s 1984 film, “Body Double” and then later appeared in “Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors.” With a promising start in those movies, he never seemed to capitalize on the career he could have had.

His performance in “Schizoid” is yet another strong and sturdy role that showcases his talents.

The cast is then rounded out with a small performance from Christopher Lloyd, (”Taxi,” “Back to the Future”) as Gilbert the strange handyman and as always he does the best job he can do with the material given.

Despite some less than stellar acting, the movie is a delightful reminder of why the ‘80s were the best decade for horror movies. It is equal parts gore, mystery and melodrama. Not only that, but it manages to create an intriguing mystery that will keep you guessing until the killer is revealed.

“Schizoid” is what it is and that is what makes it so great. It doesn’t try to be any more than late night fare for a horror junkie.

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