I’m the kind of horror fan who goes the extra mile to find something I haven’t seen yet. I love the obscure, the rare and the unreleased. To say I collect horror films would be putting it lightly. More accurately speaking, I stop at NOTHING to get what I’m after. Money, travel and uncertainty can’t stand in the way of this fan. A perfect example is my recent hunt for the 1987 SOV flick “Doll Killer”.
What are Lost Slashers? Some might consider them to be any of the hundreds of titles in the slasher genre that aren’t Halloween or Friday the 13th. Others might consider them to be VHS obscurities that so far haven’t made it to DVD. But to those who dig deeper down the rabbit hole, Lost Slashers never even came out on any format.
On February 24, 1984, Pitchfork Massacre hit the big screen at the Apollo Cinema in my hometown in South Carolina. The film played for one week then vanished. It has never been mentioned since… until now.
Charlie Sheen, Alison (Nellie Oleson on Little House on the Prairie) Arngrim, and radio personality Rush Limbaugh star in Sam Kinison’s The Honeymoon Killer now in post-production. The late Sam Kinison’s take on the slasher genre, which was previously covered here, deals with an unhappily married man who targets brides on their wedding day. During a recent interview conducted by email, executive producer Bill Kinison, Sam’s brother, provided Retro Slashers with details about the new production and the long lost promo video Sam shot for THK during the early 1990s. Kinison also sent a rare behind-the-scenes photo (above) taken during the filming of the promo which shows Sam dressed as the killer while holding a glass of liquid inspiration, director “Bill Blackman” offering encouragement, and Robin Williams clutching the script.
Rick Roessler’s Slaughterhouse (1987) told the tender tale of the Bacon family; the two man team of elderly father Lester, facing the loss of the land both his home and old slaughterhouse reside on, and his big, brainless son Buddy who is directed to kill those who cause them upset and opposition.
Our Christmas present to you last year was Thomas Ellison’s investigation of the uncompleted early 80’s slasher Jack M. Sell’s Black Christmas (featured in skit movie Outtakes). We now have a present from Retro Slashers‘ reader Wesley Skelly who after reading the article, obtained the director’s cut and now pays forward the lengthy trailer to us.
A pretty substantial update one of my retro projects: Fangoria have posted an article exclusively unveiling the Sleepaway Camp IV: The Survivor official poster art, plus copious quotage from me that’ll give you the comprehensive skinny on the lost slasher.
Admirers of Pieces (1982) know you don’t have to go to Texas for a chainsaw massacre. But did you know a continuation of a certain gory campus massacre was once on tap?
Original director Juan Piquer Simón announced in 1991 that “there will be a continuation of Pieces entitled Two Pieces. This one will be much wilder then the first… so the critics can start sharpening their claws now!”
The Spanish genre director was never given a chance to follow through with his plans.
Uncle Roscoe (Joe Spinell) is a small town undertaker who loves his work and his customers, literally. Roscoe is a necrophiliac who turns his female victims into brides while male victims become members of the wedding party. When Nick (Patrick Askin) discovers his uncle’s dark secret he alerts teacher Pam Hayes (Rebecca Varon, or Yaron depending on the source), which puts them on Roscoe’s hit list. A cop (writer/director Will Kennedy) and a bumbling security guard are also on Roscoe’s trail. But Uncle Roscoe has a few tricks up his sleeve and plenty of room in his secret cellar for anyone trying to stop his unholy lust for cold flesh.
Joe Spinell’s final performance in The Undertaker is sad, shocking, terrifying, and amazing. It’s tough watching the great Joe Spinell stagger through scenes, read his lines from the script on his desk, and glare into the camera whenever he thinks a scene should end. At times his speech is so slurred that it makes his dialogue damn near unintelligible. Joe’s performance really comes alive during the second half of the movie. Just when you think there’s no way Uncle Roscoe can get any crazier, Spinell descends to a whole new level of madness. With his wild eyes and psychotic laugh, Joe Spinell becomes a chilling portrait of pure insanity during the final showdown with Rebecca Varon.
There are several gory kills to wet the appetites of blood-thirsty slasher fans; decapitation, disembowelment, an eye gouged out, throats slit and ripped, and a face shoved into a frying pan. Some of the kill scenes are blunted by bizarre editing but it doesn’t distract from the overall impression the movie is a real bloodbath. The sleaze factor really gets cranked up to eleven when Joe or stand-in Will Kennedy fondles the corpses. Flesh fiends who prefer their women above room temperature will be satisfied with the copious amounts of nudity provided by living characters.
The Undertaker’s biggest flaw is the crazy editing which is so shoddy that it makes one think the film was never finished. Some scenes are blink-and-you-missed-them short while others drag out long after the actors have finished. There are several instances were a scene is suddenly interrupted by unrelated footage for no apparent reason. A couple of kills are played on fast forward accompanied by Joe Spinell’s dubbed in laugh. In its existing form, The Undertaker is a mess but the film could be saved if the surviving footage was re-edited. There is an interesting story lurking among the jumbled scenes and garbled dialogue.
Currently, The Undertaker is considered a lost slasher but it has the right ingredients to become a cult classic if it ever gets an official release. Joe Spinell’s amazing performance in his final slasher film is the best reason to search for the footage. Also, The Undertaker has a strange sort of low budget, grind-house charm. There is a rumor The Undertaker will receive an official release in the next year or two. Hopefully, those rumors are true because Joe Spinell’s last slasher shouldn’t stay lost forever.
Here are four slasher films that were announced but never got made for various reasons. Maybe the scripts for these lost slashers are still floating around somewhere but it’s very doubtful any of them will ever get filmed now.
1. Sam Kinison’s The Honeymoon Killer: This comedy slasher involved a madman killing new brides as they finished their wedding vows. As the killer makes his escape from the church he screams “YOU’ll THANK ME LATER” at the groom. Kinison really wanted to make this but Hollywood studios and independent producers rejected his treatment for the film. There was a chance New Line could have made this as part of Kinison’s two picture deal with the studio, but Kinison died a few days before he could sign the contracts.
2. Lover’s Lane: This was announced way back in Fangoria #10 as Emmett Alston’s follow up to New Year’s Evil. It was supposed to be released by the Cannon Group after they released X-Ray (a.k.a. Hospital Massacre). Wayne Newton was set to star but the film was never made.
3. Nightmare Weekend: In 1981 the script for Nightmare Weekend was heralded for its originality but it never got past the planning stages at New World Pictures. The killer dies before the opening credits but comes back as a zombie stalking a group of teenagers looking for a party. The murder weapon of choice was to be a really sharp hook. Troma released a film titled Nightmare Weekend in 1985 but it has nothing in common with this lost slasher.
4. The Boarding House: This film was announced in 1982 and was to star Angus Scrimm, Robert Quarry, Reggie Nalder, and Linda Blair’s sister, Deborah Blair. The film was never made but a poster was produced to help drum up investors. The artwork shows The Groundskeeper (Scrimm) carrying a dead girl in his arms. Quarry is a priest holding a cross. Reggie Nalder seems to be holding a razor or knife. Below the image of Scrimm is a hooded figure about to plunge a machete into the torso of a nude woman. Not to be confused with Boarding House, John Wintergate’s brain damaged classic starring Jonema.
