Honeymoon Horror (1982) Review

Frank discovers his wife, Elaine, and best friend, Vic, having an affair. After a struggle, the two lovers leave an unconscious Frank in a burning cabin. Five years later, three newlywed couples visit Honeymoon Island to celebrate wedded bliss. What the happy couples and new owners, Elaine and Vic, don’t realize is a crispy hatchet killer is lurking in the woods.

Director Harry Preston tries to create a slasher with deep woods atmosphere and suspense. The first few kills and last third of the movie are filled with campy slasher fun. Unfortunately, there’s a thirty minute dead space in the middle of the film. A few killer POV shots are sprinkled into long scenes of characters talking.

The cast resembles refugees from a 70’s porno. Even the background music sounds like it was recycled from old skin flicks. The actors aren’t bad considering this is an ultra low-budget slasher, but the two owners are loathsome characters. The viewer wants to see these two hateful characters die horrible deaths, but the killer picks off the more likable characters first.

Kill scenes are mostly blood free, however, it does feature an arm amputation and hatchet to the cranium. When the actress gets whacked in the skull, she falls into a chair and her wig nearly slides off. In an odd twist on the slasher formula, the men spend more time topless than the ladies. Love scenes never progress beyond heavy kissing.

Fans of deep wood slashers and campground slaughters should give Honeymoon Horror a look. Yes, the middle of the film is slow, but the film still has a low budget charm. Surprisingly, the killer never attacks any of the newlywed husbands. One wonders if screenwriters L.L. Carney and Deanne Kelly were inspired by bad honeymoons or bad marriages.

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Hell High (1989) Review

A little girl playing in a swamp accidentally kills a couple of lovers looking for a place to party. 18 years later, school bully Dickens (Christopher Stryker) seeks revenge on science teacher Brooke (Maureen Mooney) after she humiliates him in front of the class. With the aid of the rotund Smiler (Jason Brill), good time girl Queenie (Millie Prezioso), and disgraced football star Jon-Jon (Christopher Cousins), Stryker sets out to drive poor Brooke insane. Unfortunately for the band of rejects, Brooke lost her mind years ago when she killed those two lovers. What starts out as a night of pranks becomes a night of slaughter when Brooke turns the tables on her tormentors.

Hell High isn’t your typical slasher film. The victims, not the killer, are the ones wearing the scary Halloween masks. It’s hard not to cheer for the killer since she’s the one being tormented but you don’t really want to see anything bad happen to Jon-Jon, Queenie, or Smiler because they are likable characters. The body count is low but the kills are extremely violent and shocking when they do occur. Throw in some bad pop music that has nothing to do with the on screen action, a motorcycle versus car chase sequence, plus way too much football and Hell High adds up to a strange little slasher. But that’s a good thing.

Director Douglas Grossman uses some interesting camera angles to give the murders more impact. One of the best involves a recently lobotomized victim staggering down a flight of stairs with his eyes rolling back in his head and a Number 2 pencil protruding from his temple. Leo Evans, along with co-writer Grossman, gives the characters in Hell High more layers than one would expect in a low budget slasher. With the exception of the nihilistic Dickens, the teen characters have ambitions for life after high school. None of the main characters are stoic, they are all changed by the horrors that occur at Brooke’s house. One plot point seems to be missing, though, as the viewer never learns why Jon-Jon is considered a coward.

Christopher Stryker is utterly loathsome as Dickens the punk. He’s so good at playing a mean bastard that you really want to see him suffer when Maureen Mooney finally snaps. Sadly, Stryker’s career was cut short when he died from Aids in 1987. Maureen Mooney is fine as the teacher but she’s much more entertaining when she goes bonkers. There’s just something irresistible about a psychotic woman smashing, bashing, and slashing her way through the cast. Observant viewers may notice Mooney is suddenly very pregnant during the last third of the film. Horror fans may recognize Christopher Cousins as the fellow who gets a hot bacon grease shower in The Grudge 2. Cousins provides Hell High with some balance as Jon-Jon, a character that doesn’t mind a little mischief but defends others when Dickens goes too far.

Hell High is not a perfect slasher but it does possess low budget charm and engaging actors that help the viewer overlook a few shortcomings. Even though it was filmed in 1986, Hell High didn’t get released until 1989 due to several financial disasters in the home video market. The film is available on dvd but there are reports that the dvd version isn’t as complete as the vhs version. So don’t throw away those old Prism tapes just yet.

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Grotesque (1987) Review

Lisa (Linda Blair) and Kathy (Donna Wilkes) travel into the mountains to attend the Krueger family reunion. During the witching hour the Krueger house is invaded by a vicious gang of punks searching for drugs, jewels, and cash. After torturing and killing the Kruegers the gang discovers the terrible family secret locked away in a hidden room. Predators become prey when deformed cousin Patrick escapes captivity and seeks bloody vengeance.

The plot of Grotesque is told in three different sections. We have a family stalked by killers opening, crazy freak killing everybody in sight middle, and a Tales from the Crypt style ending. With such sudden shifts in story lines, it’s easy for the viewer to feel lost. The only constant during the three different plots is the gang leaders, Scratch and Shelley (a severely over acting Brad Wilson and Michelle Bensoussan). As soon as the viewer feels a connection with one set of character, those characters die off and a new set is introduced.

Grotesque’s strongest attribute is its cast of slasher alumni. Besides Blair and Wilkes, the cast also features Robert (Maniac Cop) Z’Dar and Charles (Silent Night, Deadly Night) Dierkop. Sadly, none of these actors have enough screen time to rank their presence much higher than cameo status. And the viewer really loses interest when the beautiful Blair and Wilkes depart. Both actresses bring a great deal of energy to Grotesque and the film really stumbles without them.

Slasher fans should look for special appearances from Halloween III’s Jack-o-Lantern and Skull mask. Skull mask even has a love scene, which is a bit odd. Guy Stockwell plays the “special fx genius” head of the Krueger family and dresses like Madman Marz for a false scare. Stockwell’s cheap effects are good for unintentional laughs. One doubts this guy could find work in Hollywood with anyone other than AIP or Roger Corman. Good old Buck Flower is listed in the closing credits as pre-production coordinator. One wishes he had a role in front of the camera as well.

Grotesque is a flawed yet still entertaining film. It’s really hard not to laugh out loud while Brad Wilson shrieks his lines like a rabid banshee. Somebody should have shown him the definition of subtle before filming started. In a surprising bit of good taste, Blair and Wilkes keep their clothes on for the film. Flesh fans will be disappointed but it’s nice to see these normally exploited actresses shown some respect. There’s also a “beauty is skin deep” moral at the end, which makes this a good slasher to show little brothers and sisters. Sure, the violent bits might give the brats nightmares but at least they learn something.

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Halloween II (1981) Review

Way back in Fangoria #7 a teaser paragraph in the Monster Invasion section announced the return of the boogeyman. Irwin Yablans revealed a new Halloween was in the works with Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Pleasence returning as Laurie Strode and Dr. Loomis. Laurie and Loomis would once again battle the Shape on Halloween night but from the safety of a high-security apartment complex. There were no other details given but the small paragraph gave slasher fans a reason to rejoice. It had been three years since He made Halloween the most terrifying night of the year but Michael Myers was coming back.

John Carpenter and Debra Hill wrote the script for Halloween II and wanted Tommy Lee Wallace to director, a job Wallace rejected because he thought the script had excessive violence and gore. Carpenter and Hill then picked Rick Rosenthal because he promised to use the “suspense=terror” formula that made the first Halloween so successful. The brilliant Dean Cundey returned as director of photography insuring Halloween II would be just as visually appealing as the original. Veteran stuntman Dick Warlock had already been selected as stunt coordinator and received the role of the Shape when, on a whim, he asked Debra Hill if he could play the killer.

It’s October 31, 1978 in Haddonfield and Michael Myers has escaped after being shot six times by Dr. Loomis. While Loomis and the Haddonfield police department search for Myers, the Shape makes his way to the local hospital in search of the recovering Laurie. Michael methodically eliminates the night staff one by one before turning his sights on the battered and broken Laurie Strode. It isn’t long before Loomis and Strode find themselves trapped in an operating room with a very angry Michael Myers knocking at the door.

After initial filming was completed John Carpenter shot some additional scenes to give Halloween II a little more of the old red stuff. The first girl murdered, Mr. Garrett’s death by hammer to the skull, and the Marshal’s death by slit throat with a scalpel are just a few scenes added to jazz up the action. Even though the television versions of Halloween II have been butchered far worse than any of Michael’s victims, they do contain alternate scenes not found in the theatrical version. Lance Guest appears to be injured during the climactic explosion and reappears in the ambulance with Laurie at the end. The Marshal’s original death scene, the Shape gets behind him and breaks his neck or back, used to appear in tv prints during the late 80’s and early 90’s. For some strange reason all references to Mrs. Alves murder have been removed from the tv prints which gives the viewer the impression that the old girl could still be working in an empty hospital somewhere in Haddonfield.

The film’s only negative is Jamie Lee Curtis spends two-thirds of the film coked to the gills on tranquillizers and painkillers. Laurie Strode is the heart and soul of the first film and placing her in a semi-coma leaves the viewer searching for someone to cheer for while Michael is making his ghastly rounds at the hospital. Donald Pleasence is still great as Dr. Loomis, just a little more unhinged this time around. The strong supporting cast (Leo Rossi, Lance Guest, Pamela Susan Shoop, Hunter Von Leer) carry the movie while Curtis and Pleasance are off the screen. Dick Warlock’s Shape may be the shortest in the series but Warlock is still able to make Michael Myers menacing and frightening during the kill scenes. Nancy (Annie in Halloween) Loomis, Dana Carvey, and Jeffrey (Jaws) Kramer have brief cameos as Dead Annie, a news gofer, and a dentist, respectively.

Halloween II still holds up as a scary and effective chiller despite its age. Sadly, Halloween II has not received the deluxe dvd treatment like other films in the series. The dvd from Universal is better that the Good Times release but offers only a trailer and production notes as extras. It would be nice to have a dvd with a director and cast commentary, deleted scenes, and making of documentary. For now Halloween fans craving more behind the scenes info on Halloween II can check out the excellent Halloween: 25 Years of Terror. Zebra Books published a tie-in written by Jack Martin that can still be found on shelves in used book stores and flea markets. The novelization features a scene that reveals the fate of the Producer, Dana Carvey’s boss in the film that vanishes after giving Carvey instructions.

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Girls Nite Out (1984) Review

It’s time for the annual all night scavenger hunt at Dewitt university. A psycho dressed as the bear mascot and armed with a fist full of steak knives is stalking the young ladies of Dewitt. It sounds like such a simple premise, but director Robert Deubel gives the viewer so much more than a slasher. Severe overacting, bad dialog, unlikable characters, and the lack of a central heroic figure turns a routine slasher into a garbled mess. I suppose a generous reviewer would call Deubel a maverick, braking new ground by throwing away most of the slasher formula.  Unfortunately, Deubel threw away the parts that make slasher films great.

The first thirty minutes is more soap opera than slasher. Guys complain about their girlfriends, girls brag about screwing other guys. Far too much screen time is given to characters that vanish midway into the film. The middle section focuses on the killer stalking the girls while on the scavenger hunt. One can tell the hunt is a big event because there are five, count’em, five girls involved. The bear costume is sad, more Hooty the owl than scary bear. The third reel plays like a police procedural. Drag in the red herrings, ask them a question, then show flashbacks while they answer.

Hal Holbrook literally “phones” in his performance. He spends most of his screen time behind a desk clutching a receiver instead of  patrolling the campus. His son, David Holbrook, plays red herring #3. David growls and stomps through his scenes. Lauren-Marie (Friday the 13th Part 2) Taylor is a welcome sight as one of the bad girls, but fans might cringe when she brags about having great sex with her cousin. Her line “It hurts when I sit down.” is one of the worst in the film.

Girls Nite Out does have a couple of good points. The soundtrack is golden oldies from the sixties. Tommy James and the Lovin Spoonful have some nice songs, but the songs don’t generate suspense when a killer in a silly bear outfit is stalking drunk or high cheerleaders.  The only scenes of suspense involve the killer calling the campus radio station after each murder. The best part of the film is the appearance of Klaus Kinski and the Creature From The Black Lagoon on posters during a poker game.

Only the most die-hard slasher fan will enjoy Girls Nite Out. There is no nudity and no gore.  The film is heavy on talk and bone dry on action. The annoying comic relief characters all live and the good girl never confronts the killer. She stayed in her room and locked her door, a first in the slasher genre. The killer’s identity is easy to figure out. Slow viewers, don’t worry, enough Psycho hints are dropped that you should be able to catch on quick. The film is dull, slow, and devoid of any likable characters. It doesn’t even qualify for “so-bad-it’s-good” status. Buy Girls Nite Out only if you’re trying to complete the set for Every Slasher Made in the Early 80’s.

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Funeral Home (1981) Review

When young Heather (Lesleh Donaldson) takes a summer job at her grandmother’s bed and breakfast, she finds herself in the middle of several mysteries. At night Heather hears angry voices coming from the basement. And some of the guests vanish before checking out. The biggest mystery to Heather is the disappearance of Grandpa, affectionately called Chalmers the embalmer by the locals. She’s sure the answers to all of the mysteries is somewhere in the basement. Unfortunately for Heather, the killer is also lurking in the cellar.

William Fruet directs Funeral Home with a subtle hand. Instead of drowning the cast and viewers in buckets of blood, Fruet takes a much more atmospheric route (late night thunderstorms, branches scratching on windows, a black cat following the cast, and the old house whispering Heather’s name) to generate suspense. Ida Nelson’s script captures small town life quite nicely, but the big twist ending borrows too heavily from another slasher film. It’s a shame, really, because Funeral Home has an engaging story until the viewer gets hit with the “I’ve seen this trick before” ending.

Funeral Home’s strongest attribute is the actors. Most of the characters are just so damn likable because of the strong performances and the familiar faces. Lesleh Donaldson is the heart of the film. The viewer follows this innocent young girl with pig-tails and doe eyes on a journey into a nightmare. We want to warn her when danger is near. Kay Hawtry, as Grandma Chalmers, supplies the backbone. Hawtry’s character has a strong moral compass and only gets stern with those that cross those boundaries. Thank’s to Hawtry’s acting, Grandma never degenerates into “mean old bitch” territory.

The supporting cast is also very sharp. Alfred Humphreys is Joe, the resident Deputy Barney Fife. Eventhough Joe is something of a town joke, Humphreys plays him smart. Despite the ridicule of the locals and his superiors, Joe never stops digging into the mystery of the missing people. Harvey Atkin could have wandered through the film with VICTIM across his forehead. Instead, Aktin gives Joe much more depth. He’s loud, flashy in a sleazy way, and leaves the wife and kids at home so he can spend quality time with bar tramps. Not a likable guy, but he is a nice contrast to the laid back locals.

Funeral Home is the type of slasher that relies on story and actor performances instead of blood and boobs. Fans of Canadian slashers will enjoy the slasher all-star cast. Donaldson also appears in Happy Birthday to Me and plays the ice skater in Curtain’s most terrifying sequence. Al Humphreys is better known as the practical joker in My Bloody Valentine. Harvey Atkin gets killed by Michael Ironside in Visiting Hours. William Fruet went on to direct the college slasher Killer Party.

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The Final Terror (1983) Review

A group of fire rangers and their girlfriends head into the deep forest for brush clearing and a little hanky panky. The group trespass on the hunting grounds of a wild woman, and soon find themselves in a fight for survival. What sets this routine slasher apart is the incredibly strong cast. Mark (Animal House) Metcalf, Adrian Zmed, Rachel Ward, Daryl Hannah, and Lewis Smith are members of the rangers. Joe Pantoliano is the crazy bus driver everyone bullies. The actors help the film rise above its low budget trappings and sometimes weak script.

The scenery is beautiful, until the final act, when the forest begins to look dank and slimy. The killer uses the forest and rocks as camouflage, which adds to the suspense because you never know when that pile of leaves might get up and kill a character. The night scenes are never so dark that one can’t see the action, a plus considering the middle of the film occurs at night. There is some gore, mostly severed heads and limbs.

The film does have some problems. Instead of facing the out numbered killer as a group, the survivors decide to build a giant death trap. Surely, the killer could see the guy climbing the two hundred foot redwood, and figure out the plan. One hero” gets blasted on mushrooms before the big finish, and the rest of the cast still takes orders from the guy. One would think a film with Rachel Ward and Daryl Hannah in the woods would be ripe for nudity. Unfortunately, there is more male nudity than female.

Despite the flaws, The Final Terror does manage to generate suspense. The killer is unpredictable and viscous. The good actors make the absurd situations believable. By the end of the film, the survivors are changed into a savage tribe, more dangerous and blood thirsty than the killer.

The Final Terror is a cross between Deliverance and Friday The 13th. Not all slasher fans will like this film, some parts may seem slow, but it’s really just an attempt to build suspense. The story is nothing new, but the future stars appearing in it makes the re-tread ground more interesting. In fact, the actors are the only reason the film was ever released. A producer discovered he had a film on the shelf staring that naked mermaid from Splash.

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Don’t Go In The House (1979) Review

When Donny (Dan Grimaldi) discovers his cruel mother dead, the voices inside his head tell him its party time. Instead of slicing and dicing his victims, Donny prefers to chain them in a room and torch them with a flamethrower. His mother’s ghost doesn’t like Donny’s behavior and haunts him after every kill.

The scariest thing about Don’t Go in the House is how closely it follows the script of Psycho and Maniac. Dan Grimaldi is no Anthony Perkins or Joe Spinell, but his character is very similar to their slasher anti-heroes. The ending looks like a direct theft of Maniac; zombie mom and re-animated victims attack the crazed killer. But wait, this film came out before Maniac.

Gore fans will be disappointed with the bloodless kills. The death of the first victim is really grim, but director Joseph Ellison (no relation) has the rest of the kills occur off screen. Mom’s ghost provides a couple of chills during the films more talkative sections. Those crispy corpses and a couple of burning scenes are the biggest special effects in the film.

The script tries to make Donny a sympathetic character. We see the mother torture the young Donny with fire. Yet, Donny becomes more loathsome, not scary or creepy, as the film progresses. Only one other character, a buddy from work, has any kind of development. Stalking scenes are nothing more than “Hey, need a ride.” Cut to a new corpse sitting in a rocking chair.

Don’t Go in the House is a very dull slasher. Fans of the genre may want to give it a look to see what slashers were like before writers and directors mastered the formula. Add some blood, suspense, and a good actor and this could have been Maniac.

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The Demon (1979) Review

When a young girl is kidnapped and murdered by a black-gloved brute, her parents call in a psychic (Cameron Mitchell) to help find the killer. Meanwhile, the stalker has his sights set on a young kindergarten teacher (Jennifer Holmes). The game of cat and mouse begins when the killer traps the teacher in her house.

Writer/director Percival Rubens combines elements of Halloween and The Exorcist in this odd little slasher from Johannesburg, South Africa. The slasher is a faceless demon forced to wear a rubber mask in order to appear human. His weapons of choice are a pair of black gloves with metal claw fingertips and the old plastic over the head trick. Mitchell’s psychic refers to the killer as “an aberration of the species. Something hallucinating evil.”

Cameron Mitchell, who obviously took the role to help pay his gambling debts, begins his performance rather subtle until he does his ESP shtick. Then, Mitchell starts gasping like an asthmatic and sniffing the missing girl’s pillows. He goes from heroic figure to dirty old man real fast. His screen time is very short and he never gets to confront the killer. Jennifer Holmes is very good as the stalked teacher. Her character is more intelligent than most slasher heroines and she isn’t afraid to fight back when trapped by the killer.

While The Demon does have several tense, creepy moments, the overall film is dragged down by an unnecessary romantic subplot involving secondary characters. This subplot brings the film to a screeching halt and makes The Demon feel like a three hour movie. Another problem, why does the killer have razor gloves when he rarely uses them on his victims? Death by suffocation is gruesome but not very bloody.

Fans of slashers with a heavy emphasis on stalking should check out The Demon. The version you see depends on where you live. The US cut has a hefty level of nudity while other countries decided to edit out all T&A. Such edits would really effect the ending considering Jennifer Holmes is nude during the final confrontation. Watch for a sign for “Boobs Disco” and an awesome billboard for The Amityville Horror.

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Deadly Intruder (1985) Review

Harvey the psycho escapes from a mental institution and returns home to kill his wife. One month later, a disheveled drifter (Tony Crupi) follows Jessie (Molly Cheek) to her secluded farm house. While Jessie prepares for an evening dinner party with friends, the drifter peeks in windows and a slasher thins out the guest list.

After a mildly interesting set up The Deadly Intruder switches from a slasher to the little used “lonely woman terrorized by dirty homeless guy” sub-genre. The little snippets of suspense generated in the first ten minutes are murdered by a sluggish pace, bad dialogue, and dumb characters. Most of the blame can be placed on screenwriter/actor Tony Crupi, who seems to move at a snail’s pace because he knows it guarantees him more screen time. Simply pulling his ass off the floor, depositing it in a rocking chair, and putting his feet up takes two minutes.  Most insulting of all, the viewer is supposed to see Crupi’s kidnapping, woman hating character as a hero at the end of the film.

Despite the “so dull it will put you to sleep” middle, The Deadly Intruder does have a few interesting points. Watching former child star Danny Bonaduce getting dwarf tossed into a television set by the killer is pretty damn hilarious. Bonaduce must have had a serious case of the munchies during filming because he’s constantly shoving food in his mouth while on screen.  he kills, although never gory, do show some imagination. A fat guy having his eye plucked out with a screwdriver is the most extreme death shown. Synth fans will enjoy the score even if it sounds a bit like the theme from Halloween.

Director John McCauly makes several critical mistakes in trying to pull off the twist ending. It’s really obvious the drift can’t be murdering people in town if he’s skulking around the house in the woods. Slasher fans should be able to spot the killer after only a few minutes. Giving Crupi so much screen time is also a fatal error. Watching stock footage of birds and squirrels would have been better than seeing more of  that little weasel’s face.

If you’ve ever thought “I’d like to watch a slasher but I have to wash the dishes”, then The Deadly Intruder is the film for you. Watch the opening ten minutes then find something to do for next thirty or forty. You won’t miss anything interesting. Somehow Molly Cheek’s career survived this film and she later became Jim’s mom in the American Pie trilogy. One can’t say the same for Stuart Whitman, slumming as a small town sheriff. Bonaduce has seen a resurgence in his career after beating drug addiction. Sadly, we’ll never see Danny thrown through another TV.

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