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Thomas Ellison

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Humongous (1982) Review

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In 1946, a woman is raped during a Labor Day party. 36 years later, a group of teens become stranded on Dog Island after their yacht hits some rocks. The group quickly discovers there is something worse than wild dogs living on the island.

While watching Humongous, slasher fans should look for the many Scooby-Doo references. The teens are a blonde guy (David Wallace), his model girlfriend (Janet Julian), a brainy girl with glasses (Janet Julian), a stoner (John Wildman), and everyman’s best friend (Joy Boushel). The smart chick loses her glasses just like Velma. The gang even splits up to look for clues.

The most sympathetic characters are Donna the slut and the killer. Poor Donna never fits in with the rich kids and most of the characters are mean to her. She has trouble communicating with others and relies on her breasts in most situations, even when gathering food. The killer, a giant mongoloid, only kills because he is hungry. His cruel mother forces him to live in a rat infested cellar. There are a few hints that his mother tortured him because of his deformities.

The biggest flaw in Humongous is the terrible lighting. Most of the action scenes are waaay to dark to see what’s happening. Even the killer’s face is blotted out, so the viewer never knows just how monstrous he looks. Some suspense is killed because the viewer knows more than the characters. We know a brute is stalking the kids, so the big revelation concerning the killer’s identity lacks impact.

Director Paul Lynch and writer William Gray, the tag team that created Prom Night, filled Humongous with many slasher staples; including killer POV shots, a woman surviving by dressing like the killer’s dead mother, and the line “I killed him. It’s all over.” If you like the hulking, deformed slasher subgenre (Hell Night, The House on Sorority Row, The Prey), then you should enjoy Humongous.

Humongous is coming to DVD from Scorpion Releasing between September 2011-March 2012.

SOV Week: Video Violence 1-2 (1987-1988)

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An early SOV series that bridges the cinematic gap between Snuff and Hostel. Gary Cohen, a video store owner back during the Mom & Pop glory days, noticed the glut of terrible horror movies flooding shelves on a weekly basis and decided to make his own cheap fright flick. So Cohen rounded up friends, actors from the local community theater, and folks walking down the street (literally) for a cast. Armed with an old camera and a script co-written by Paul Kaye, Cohen set out to make a film that would stand out from the average stalk-and-slash cheapie.

The Emory’s (Art and Jackie Neill) own a video store and discover living in a small town can be dangerous when they find a snuff tape in the drop box. The tape shows Howard (Bart Sumner) and Eli (Uke) chopping up and old mailman with a machete. Steve Emory rushes the tape to the police only to have the evidence erased by a bumbling sheriff (William Toddie). It soon becomes clear that Howard and Eli aren’t the only townsfolk butchering outsiders when a deli adds “hand” sandwiches to the menu. When more snuff videos are dropped off at the store Steve and Rachel decide to investigate the authenticity of the tapes.

If Retro Slashers had a rating system then Video Violence would get a double D for decapitation and dismemberment. A slow torture scene involving a woman chained up in Eli’s basement is particularly brutal. Sometimes cheesy gore and bad acting can doom a film but Video Violence actually benefits from having an overabundance of both. If the kills and actors were realistic, then Video Violence would be too intense for viewing. Fortunately, the overacting helps to take off the film’s nasty edge. Honestly, the calmest thing about William Toddie’s performance is the dead raccoon he uses for a hair piece.

With Video Violence 2, Eli and Howard (Uke and Sumner back for more fun) have graduated from underground snuff tapes to talk show hosts on a pirated tv station. Those loveable cut-ups dazzle their audience with bad jokes while stripping and torturing a young actress (Elizabeth Lee Miller). Commercials shown during the “Howard and Eli” show feature the old sheriff (Toddie again) promoting homemade electric chairs, a Christmas toy that eats children, and handy gadgets that can be purchased at Deli Dick’s. The viewer is also treated to scenes of three women seducing and killing a pizza boy and a return trip to the video store for a segment I like to call “Fun with plastic wrap.” A few surprises await the viewer after the credits for “The Howard and Eli Show” roll.

On a technical level, Video Violence 2 is a better film. Gary Cohen made this film with better equipment and gives the unique story a much needed sense of humor. A couple of segments could have used more editing as the “Death of a pizza boy” and “Greatest Hits” sections drag on forever for what are essentially one joke wonders. William Toddie’s commercial provides a gory good time as he electrocutes a hippie until the poor guy’s eyes pop out and his head explodes. Eagle-eyed viewers will notice a major flub when one of Deli Dick’s all purpose choppers breaks during a demonstration.

What really makes the the Video Violence series special is Gary Cohen captures the spirit of the Mom & Pop video stores during their last golden age. Hit the slow-mo button during the scenes set in the video store and marvel at the slasher and horror titles lurking on the shelves. Gaze in awe at the poster covered walls and cover art on the old vhs boxes. Art Neill gives a speech during the first Video Violence in which he proclaims his distrust of anyone who rents nothing but horror films and bemoans the fact that horror films are always the biggest renters. I heard the same speech from numerous video store owners during my youth. There’s plenty of blood, boobs, and bad acting in both films if that’s what you’re looking for in low budget slashers. But there’s also a heavy dose of nostalgia for those of us who miss the magic of those weekend trips to the local Mom & Pop just to grab the latest slasher.

SOV Week: The Ripper (1986)

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Prof. Richard Harwell (Tom Scheier) discovers Jack the Ripper’s ring in a Tulsa, Oklahoma antique shop. Wearing the ring unleashes Jack from limbo and allows him to increase his bloody body count. Only horror geek Steve (Wade Tower) and skeletal dance instructor Carol (Mona Van Pernis) can stop the two-hundred-year-old killer from completing his mission. But can they save Prof. Harwell’s soul before Jack the Ripper (Tom Savini… for the final three minutes anyway) takes over forever?

The Ripper is a Shot on Video gore fest that lies to its audience. The artwork and credits proudly proclaim “Tom Savini is The Ripper”, yet he only appears at the very end. The stuntman/stand-in featured for almost all of the film looks more like Long John Holmes than Tom Savini. When he finally appears as the Ripper, Savini spouts about five lines of dialogue and has a slow-motion fight. The End.

Director Christopher Lewis pads the running time with lots of talking and bad dance class routines. Writer Bill Groves’ characters’ stand around talking about Vincent Price, Alfred Hitchcock, and of course Jack the Ripper. We even get to watch parts of Blood Cult with the two main characters, now that’s padding. It’s easy to guess the company that helped fund this slasher when the camera zooms in on every Coke can that makes it on screen.

Gore hounds will love seeing slit throats gush blood and Jack playing with entrails, but be patient. The red doesn’t really start flowing until thirty minutes into the film. Sadly, Savini wasn’t involved with the creation of the effects. On the acting front, Andrea Adams gives the best performance as Cindy, girlfriend to the horror geek. Most of the cast lacks chemistry but Adams is fun to watch. Mona Van Pernis is on the other end of the spectrum. Seeing her gaunt, emaciated figure on screen is a distraction. When Pernis pulls those thin lips over those bone white teeth it reminds me of Mr. Sardonicus.

The Ripper, on the surface, should be a slasher fan’s dream; Tom Savini as the world’s most famous serial killer. Something got lost in the mix, mainly suspense, action, and the participation of Savini. Bad movie fans will find enough quirky moments (badly dubbed love scenes, motor scooters exploding into massive fireballs, ill-fitted latex flapping around in the breeze) to warrant a look. Gore hounds are the ones who will really enjoy the stomach ripping and throat slashing. During a time when the MPAA was chopping up every slasher released in theaters, The Ripper slipped uncut onto video store shelves across America.

SOV Week: Sledgehammer (1983) DVD Review

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In 1983 David A. Prior wrote and directed Sledgehammer. After languishing for a year, it found a distributor but slasher fans had a hard time finding copies at local mom & pop video stores. Fortunately, Sledgehammer has been saved from obscurity with a new DVD release from Intervision Picture Corp and Severin Films.

The movie opens with a mom locking her son in a closet so she can spend quality time with her lover. Just when things get hot and heavy between the two lovers an unseen killer bashes them with, you guessed it, a sledgehammer. Ten years later, a group of friends go to the same house to enjoy a weekend of food fights and madcap debauchery. When Ted (Killer Workout) Prior tells a ghost story, the spirit of the little boy is released from the closet. Now, the little boy’s ghost is a freaking giant in a scary mask. One by one, the friends are slashed, smashed, and trashed by the vengeful spirit.

The gore in Sledgehammer is low rent but effective so gore lovers will have something to wet their appetites. The acting is sometimes over the top but this is because the party scenes are real. Those cans of beer and bottles of Old Grand Dad aren’t props, they’re liquid motivation for some of the cast. What really hinders Sledgehammer, though, is the gratuitous use of slow motion to pad the film’s running time. We get slow motion scenes involving couples walking across a field, someone tumbling over bags, and the final girl trying to plug something into a wall socket. Despite the film’s flaws, there are some good chills to be had. The killer is a menacing looking individual and some of his scenes are genuinely creepy. David A. Prior gives the supernatural elements a punch with neat camera tricks that are pretty amazing for a first time director trying to learn his craft. Sledgehammer is rough around the edges but it contains enough laughs and chills to make it the overall viewing experience worthwhile.

Even if you were one of the lucky few to find it on VHS, there are plenty of entertaining extras on the DVD to warrant an upgrade. A commentary track with Bleeding Skull‘s Joseph A. Ziemba and Dan Budnik offers up theories about the killer’s identity and back story. The riffs on “Oates” and “Mr. 65”, their names for two of the characters, are pretty hilarious and their theories fill in some of the plot holes that plague the film. Sometimes Ziemba and Budnik drift off on tangents that have nothing to do with the film or anyone connected to it but it doesn’t detract from the entertainment value of the commentary. It’s obvious these guys love the film and have probably watched it one too many times.

Moderator Clint Kelley and writer/director David A. Prior are featured on the main commentary track. Kelley asks a lot of good questions, unfortunately, Prior can’t remember all the details about the making of Sledgehammer. Prior’s memory improves as the commentary progresses. He provides behind the scene anecdotes on the hazards of shooting food fights and gore scenes in your own apartment, tricks used to make the apartment look like a much larger building, and the educational value of writing and directing your first film. As for the killer’s origin, Prior explains he was inspired by “the Jason movies” and left out details about the killer’s supernatural powers on purpose. Kelley, a Sledgehammer super fan, offers his own theories about the film. The track ends with the two men discussing a possible Sledgehammer 2 in the near future.

Some of the stories mentioned on Prior’s commentary are repeated in his interview. During the interview it becomes clear the director is amazed his first film has a loyal following among horror and slasher fans. The biggest surprise in the interview is the film’s budget was probably less than $10,000. The SledgehammerLand featurette with Hadrian Belove and Tom Fitzgerald offers proof that some slashers are better watched under the influence. Belove and Fitzgerald, programmers for Cinefamily, describe what happened when they gave Sledgehammer its first theatrical showing a few years ago. Destroy All Movies!!! author Zack Carlson offers up his Sledgehammer theories during the Hammertime featurette. Horror fans will have a hard time focusing on Carlson’s words because he’s sitting in front of a wall of VHS tapes. On the third viewing I stopped reading the titles behind Carlson and concentrated on his thoughts about the movie.

Thanks to the efforts of Intervision and Severin Films slasher fans can finally see Sledgehammer, the first shot-on-video slasher, on DVD. The extras compliment the film and the commentary tracks add hours of replay value to the movie. It would be great to see every obscure slasher get this type of DVD treatment.

Sledgehammer is now available through Amazon and other DVD retailers.

In full disclosure, the back of the DVD box features a quote from Retro Slashers’ video review.

Slashers and Urban Legends: Cropsey

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The Legend: The woods in Upstate New York belong to Cropsey, a madman with a passion for butchering young campers. Why Cropsey kills is unclear. Some say he was a cruel handyman disfigured by campers who fought back during one of Cropsey’s alcohol fueled rages. Others say Cropsey was a judge who lived with his family near a summer camp. When a group of campers set fire to the Cropsey house it cost the judge his family, his face, and his sanity. Or maybe Cropsey kills campers because his farmland was seized by the government and turned into camps for underprivileged city kids. The woods in Upstate New York belong to Cropsey and you better stay out if you want to live.

The Films: The Burning, Madman, Sleepaway Camp II, Sleepaway Camp III.

Folklorists blame the rise of the slasher films in the late 1970s, early 1980s as the catalyst for spreading certain urban legends across the globe. The Cropsey legend is a good example of a local urban legend gaining national prominence because of his status as a slasher icon. There are variations on the Cropsey legend in New York but slasher fans know “Cropsy” as the crispy handyman in The Burning, the first film written and produced by the Weinstein brothers. Cropsy stays true to the legend in The Burning by targeting the campers instead of the counselors, something that separates Cropsy from killers like Jason or Mrs. Voorhees.

Ironically, another film inspired by the Cropsey legend started production shortly after the Weinsteins began filming The Burning. Joe Giannone heard the Cropsey legend at summer camp and wrote The Legend Lives based on that story. During casting, Giannone and producer Gary Sales learned the Weinsteins were filming the exact same story in another part of New York. Giannone and Sales shut down production when they read the script for The Burning and completely rewrote The Legend Lives. Everything related to the legend of Cropsey was gutted and replaced with a crazy farmer named Marz. Today Madman Marz is a slasher icon in his own right thanks to the cult status of Madman.

Sleepaway Camp II transforms Angela from a confused teen into a Cropsey-like killer. The first scene in the film turns Angela into an urban legend told around campfires at summer camps. Like Cropsey, Angela has suffered a type of mutilation but her scars are harder to see. Angela also directs most of her anger at the campers. She kills the counselors when they get in the way but her main target is the campers. Sleepaway Camp III continues Angela’s journey into folklore boogeyman. Once again, Angela takes out the bad campers while pursuing the cop who arrested her in the first film.

Interview: Bill Kinison Discusses The Honeymoon Killer (APRIL FOOL’S)

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Charlie Sheen, Alison (Nellie Oleson on Little House on the Prairie) Arngrim, and radio personality Rush Limbaugh star in Sam Kinison’s The Honeymoon Killer now in post-production. The late Sam Kinison’s take on the slasher genre, which was previously covered here, deals with an unhappily married man who targets brides on their wedding day.  During a recent interview conducted by email, executive producer Bill Kinison, Sam’s brother, provided Retro Slashers with details about the new production and the long lost promo video Sam shot for THK during the early 1990s.  Kinison also sent a rare behind-the-scenes photo (above) taken during the filming of the promo which shows Sam dressed as the killer while holding a glass of liquid inspiration, director “Bill Blackman” offering encouragement, and Robin Williams clutching the script.

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Writer Calls on Horror Fans to Boycott Leisure Books

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When I wrote about the demise of Leisure’s mass market paperback line in favor of e-books, I had no idea the terrible drama playing out behind the scenes.  According to genre author Brian Keene, Dorchester/Leisure Books stopped paying royalties owed to their writers back in late 2009.  Then, with the payment issues still unresolved, Dorchester suddenly announced they were switching to e-books format and shutting down the paperback brands.  Now, with many of their former and current writers suffering because of missed payments and outright stealing of books the company no longer have rights to, Brian Keene is asking for all horror fans to boycott Dorchester/Leisure Books.

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A Retro Slasher Salute to USA Network 1985-1995

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These days USA Network is known for wrasslin’, Law & Order marathons, and hip original shows like Burn Notice.  Back in the 1980s and early 1990s USA featured some really wild and crazy shows, the kind of shows that stay with impressionable young children long after they’ve turned old and gray.  So here’s a fond look back at some of the programs on USA Network that corrupted my youth.

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Is Mass Market Horror Fiction Dead?

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Over the last thirty years the market for horror novels has exploded, dried up to almost nothing, found new life through the splatterpunk movement, died off again, and then made a comeback through Leisure Books’ line of mass market horror novels.  Last September, Leisure shut down their paperback lines with all future publications coming out in electronic form.  Now that the biggest horror publisher is out of the game horror writers are scrambling to find new outlets for their work.  Horror fiction has suffered many set backs before but this time it looks like the genre is down for the count.

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The Slasher Expeditions Part 2: The Attic of Terror

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There once was a local Pic-A-Flick-Video store that was home to the greatest collection of horror movies I’ve ever seen.  What made this store so special was its location,  a two story building.  Downstairs was pretty much like every other video store, but the upstairs was Shangri-La for horror fans.  The shelves held hundreds of beautifully garish horror video boxes.  And you could rent as many as you wanted for only a $1 each. The Attic of Terror was really designed for hardcore horror fans.  You’d never see a John Carpenter flick  on these shelves but you could find a large selection of films directed by Jess Franco, Umberto Lenzi, Joe D’Amato, Lucio Fulci, and the master Dario Argento.  You’d never find slashers like Halloween or Friday the 13th upstairs but there was The Bird with the Crystal Plumage, Bloody Moon, New York Ripper, and Monster Hunter (a.k.a. Anthropophagus 2).  Independent slashers featuring reformed porn stars (Demented, Deranged) and SOV low budget wonders (Night Ripper, The Ripper) promised viewers a night of down and dirty slasher thrills.

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