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The Prey (1984) Review

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It’s almost impossible to look past such a salacious tagline as “It’s not human and it’s got an axe”, therefore, I didn’t. While I was slightly disappointed that it was human, he still carried that axe with enough murderous glee to make up for that shortcoming.

The Prey is an oddity for sure. Approximately half of the film’s running time is filled with nature footage. Pretty great if you’re Mutal of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom, but as an edge of your seat slasher, shots of centipedes walking doesn’t always generate the scare factor. Yet, when the viewer gets to the film’s disturbing finale, you’d be hard pressed to say it wasn’t at least jolting.

The story – six young campers hike to a remote part of the wilderness unaware that an angry and charred gypsy (!) is bent on avenging the death of his clan due to a man-made forest fire. He was apparently left scarred… and pretty pissed off. Granted, throwing in a crispy gypsy is certainly inventive, but The Prey is a strictly by the numbers story without much flare given to the characters or their dialogue. In fact, some of the scenes were looped together, as if this were a porn (the filmmaker made adult movies at the time, and it’s rumored that there is an adult version of this somewhere in the ether) but it’s looped together backwards, which means you catch the end of the conversation then it wraps backwards and starts a bit earlier, winds back to the end and then loops towards the beginning again! Whew! There’s art in there somewhere, there just has to be!

What The Prey lacks in story it makes up for with atmosphere. Somehow that extraneous footage of animals frolicking does work in creating a bit of suspense, maybe because it’s just so weird that it constantly pulls the film from a semi-realistic to a still surrealistic slasher. Also, the location is just magnificent. Beautiful and lush greenery fill every frame until the last third when our campers hit a desolate and barren rock. It’s a stark contrast to the beauty and it adds a bit of oomph to the climax.

The actors are pretty game as well. Jackson Bostwick takes the lead as Ranger Mark O’Brien. His wide-mouth-frog story adds a bit of flavor to a flavorless character. I was quite smitten with Bostwick’s portrayal here and thought he’d make an interesting leading man in just about anything. Other familiar faces include an older Jackie Coogan, Carel Struycken, former Playgirl Playmate Steve Bond and the loveable 80s Scream Queen Lori Lethen. So, if I can quote the opening theme song to Facts of Life (yeah, strange segue but there you go), “you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both, and there you have -” If Mrs. Garrett was ever onto something, it’s that lyric. The Prey mixes the good and the bad and then there you have – a pretty damn fine slasher.

The Outing (1987) Review

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I have two claims to fame when it comes to this 1986 Texas lensed horror film. I have met the lead girl, Andra St. Ivani. She used to come into retail establishment I worked in. I finally asked her if she was the girl from The Outing and she was pleased as punch to tell me yes. She said I made her day. My second claim to fame is that I worked for a guy who sat between her and the guy who played her boyfriend in college! Way cool, no? I have a lot of love for this little movie. It gets a lot of things right as far as slasher films go. It’s got a neat, scary setting (a museum), nice gore effects, not bad acting and a friggin’ bad ass genie. OK, so djinns aren’t part of the ‘slasher rules’, but shoot, they kind of rock.

The genie in The Outing was being kept under tight watch by an old lady who lived in a big house on a hill. Some hillbillies (including one who looks like Courtney Love) makes their way up there to rob the joint, looking for what they heard is something pretty priceless. Well, after they kill the old lady, they unleash said genie and he gets his revenge. The house is excavated and the findings go to a local museum. The curator has a daughter (Ms. St. Ivani) who stupidly puts on a bracelet that was found at the old lady’s house. Unbeknownst to her or anyone else, this wearer of this bracelet becomes tied to the evil djinn, and usually ends up regretting it. Our lead becomes possessed, convinces her friends to spend the night in the museum after hours and the genie lets loose some rather nasty fun.

An unusual concept for a run of the mill genre film and for the most part, it works. I won’t lie though; the actual genie is pretty hilarious. There’s lots of sparklies and smoke to cover up the puppet, but it’s not enough to make it scary in the least. I think the filmmakers made the right choice by letting a ‘genie cam’ guide us through the mayhem. It’s true that less is more, especially when you’re monster looks this awful.

As for the other 98% of the film, it’s got a great pace and even though most of the slaughter doesn’t take place until the second half, it’s still a lot of good 80s fun. I especially like Andra’s ex-boyfriend, who looks like he just got off the set of Zapped. He’s waaaaay 80s and his style is so 1982, even though the film was shot in 1986. Where’s the stone-wash? Anyway, he’s a racist punk who gets pleasure from raping women and trying to run ex-girlfriends off the road. And he’s a blast. The rest of the characters are pretty cardboard but the cast is good in their various roles and make the most of their grisly death scenes.

I guess this proves that if you throw a little ingenuity into the pot, you can still please a horror audience with other conventions. It also goes to show that regional films used to have spark, talent, and cause where as the post-2000 wannabes are still trying to figure out which way to point the camera.

The Mutilator (1985) Review

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The standard six-pack of college students (the Virgin, her Loving Beau, the Wiseass, his Nice Girlfriend, the Scrawny Slut and her Dim-Witted Mancub) head to the beach for a week of sun, surf and sex. But as we’ve learned in the prologue, our hero accidentally killed his mother while cleaning pop’s gun and dad ain’t too happy about it. So, it’s no surprise when the widowed father shows up, pickaxe in hand.

In retrospect, it must have seemed a good idea to have the hero be a murderer himself (even if by accident), but this original idea is soon doused when, upon hearing how Ed (the Loving Beau) blew his mother to kingdom come, Ralph (the Wiseass) sarcastically remarks “Ou-ch!” End of subject.

Not made for a very savvy audience (i.e. me), The Mutilator still borders on mad genius. It’s a perfect example of a train wreck. Marvel at the strange dramatic pauses the actors take after every line and check out the seriously whiny lead. But our stand-out performance comes from Mike (the Dim-Witted Mancub) who manages to make getting chainsawed to death look about as frightening as beating a hole into a wet paper bag. Alas, The Mutilator is a film to behold.

Lucky for fans of slap-dash slash, director Buddy Cooper doesn’t skimp on the gore. Be forewarned though, there is one sick scene involving the only likeable character (the Nice Girlfriend) and a rather large hook that will have you squirming in your seats.

But the question remains, is it scary? Well, yes actually. Maybe not to jaded horror fans who sometimes expect too much from low budget product, but to the rest of nostalgically inclined slasher fiends it’s a pretty good little flick. You may know the score, but you’ve never seen it played out quite like this. And with lines like “I’m going to get high score in a video game”, it’s a winner!

Maniac (1980) Review

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Even after such realistic films like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Last House on the Left made their way through the grindhouse circuit of the 70s, audiences still couldn’t have prepared themselves for one of the most violent films of the 1980s. Yes, Maniac proved to be one of those films that actually lived up its controversy.

Frank Zito (a tribute to Prowler director Joseph Zito) is a deranged lunatic. When he’s not idling away his time talking to the several mannequins with whom he co-habitates, he’s scalping young women on the city streets of New York. He’s not without remorse, but he’s also seems to lack the restraint he needs to stop himself. Enter Anna D’Antoni (the beautiful Caroline Munro), a hot fashion photographer who catches Frank’s eye. She seems charmed by him, but remains completely unaware of his devious lifestyle until she joins him on a trip to visit his abusive mother’s grave.

Met with protest upon its initial release, Maniac has stood the test of time. In the wake of such realistic fare as Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer and the more recent Dahmer, Maniac is now being heralded as a bold step in filmmaking and Joe Spinnell is finally getting his dues for his harrowing portrayal of a serial killer. No doubt its unrelenting showcase of atrocities is sure to make the Scream generation tremble in their boots -just check out the scene where Tom Savini blows off his own head! But this movie wasn’t made for them.

Even Joe Spinnell felt the weight of the controversy. While planning a sequel, he decided to make the Maniac character a vigilante who protected children from their abusive families. Andrew Vachss would be proud! Unfortunately, Spinell died about six weeks before filming began. A glimpse of what he was shooting for can be found on the DVD – footage directed by Buddy G. (Combat Shock).

I highly recommend Maniac to anyone who likes to see films that are made on the fringe of Hollywood.

Madman (1981) Review

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It was the early 80s and the world of horror movies was thriving. Two filmmakers took the popular legend of Cropsy, a man who beheaded scouts, and made two films, which were shot and released concurrently. Madman was one and the other was a little film called The Burning. Although both ideas were spurned from the same legend, the films were radically different. The Burning featured several soon-to-be-famous actors such as Holly Hunter, Fisher Stevens and Jason Alexander. It also had top notch effects by the legendary Tom Savini and it featured a lot of character development as well as some very effective set-pieces. The Burning is an excellent film and usually fans favor it over Madman, but I still sit here in the minority. I’m re-watching Madman right now and loving every minute of it.

The story itself does differ from The Burning. Madman is about an insane family man who axe to his wife and kids and was then hunted down by a lynch mob. They hung him up a tree only to disappear by morning. Legend has it, Madman Marz still walks the halls of his old, dilapidated house and if you say his name above a whisper, you will wake him from his slumber and he will hunt your ass down. One of the kids listening to the story yells out the famous adage, “Come and get me Madman Marz” and I’ll be damned if that old coot doesn’t get himself an axe and give everyone forty whacks, all while Ritchie (Jimmy Steele) eludes his fellow campers and learns the horrible truth about what is locked away in Marz’s house.

Madman relies almost solely on minimalism. In many ways, the film plays it by the numbers with the whole camp counselors in peril bit, and the dialog doesn’t do much to support any real character build-up (although naming characters “T.P.” does help differentiate things a bit!) but what it does have is a feeling of dread that bleeds through every frame. The set ups are classic, yet they remain effective and yeah, it’s still scary as hell. Marz is also a bloodcurdling creation. He’s a big backwoods type who looks like he could do some serious damage. For some reason, He has a perplexing growl, but I’ll forgive little inconsistencies for all out fear.

Another strong feature of Madman is the artistic photography. Shot completely night for night with blue gels, the movie is awash in dark, foreboding colors with some magnificent framing as well. Director Joe Giannone really puts the screws to the audience, and even incomprehensible scenes seem to work (I’m talking about the gal who hides in the fridge here. Uh yeah, good idea!). I remember the fist time I saw Madman, I was still not jaded by overplayed plots and it had me terrified. I still get that way when I watch this movie. It’s an example of a low-budget working in its favor and well, I’m always up for a decapitated head under the hood of a truck. Aren’t you?

IFC has recently picked up Madman and opened it up to a new audience. Slasher meets artsy fartsy?!? While that might put a few old schoolers into a tailspin, I say “Come and get me Madman Marz”!!!

Madhouse (1981) Review

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The graceful Trish Everly leads a cast of familiar character actors in this classy horror milieu co-written and directed by infamous producer Ovidio Assonitis (Beyond the Door). Everly plays Julia, a sweet and sophisticated teacher for deaf children. Although the exteriors of Julia’s life seem quaint (her uncle is a priest and she dates a charming doctor), the interiors belie a dark secret involving her insane twin sister, who has recently been diagnosed with a deadly skin disease. Julia visits her screwy and horribly disfigured sibling, Mary, only to be warned she plans to make their next birthday unforgettable. Soon afterwards, the insane twin escapes and adopts a vicious rottweiler on her way to Julia’s practically abandoned apartment building (which is really a refurbished mansion). And Mary’s got one last secret which is guaranteed to offer up a gift Julia doesn’t want and can’t return.

Highly stylized and scattered with alarming and sometimes frightening set-pieces, Madhouse is one of those diamonds in the rough that unfortunately gets passed over too often. What is so surprising about this classy thriller is the almost total abandonment of taboos. Kids and animals alike are not shown mercy, which is unusual, even for films with a much meaner spirit. This might be why Madhouse (aka There Was a Little Girl) became a ‘Video Nasty’ in England. However, in the more recent laid back times it has been resubmitted and allowed for release. The uncut version was banned presumably for the animal brutality but the UK also frowns on inaccurate depictions of the mentally insane. The copy I own is cut and is missing the doggy-gets-drilled segment (for which I’m actually thankful!).

Madhouse is also full of quirky, strange characters. The Asian handyman comes equipped with goggle glasses and a thick accent. Unfortunately, the southern-belle landlady is grossly overplayed and her death is by far the most plodding segment in the film. It’s true, every slasher films needs at least one character you love to watch die, and she is it! Otherwise, the strange people who permeate the peripheral of Julia’s life help keep the story moving towards its violent end.

Riz Ortolani lends some strings from his infamous Cannibal Holocaust score to advance the scares along, which it does nicely. It’s funny to think such wildly different films can be shepherded by the same music, but it’s a nice fit. Assonitis has a good grip on the genre and it’s of note, and somewhat amusing, that he went on to produce The Lambada and Scent of a Woman! Now that’s scary!

This elegant horror movie is by no means flawless, but it is also brimming with stunning kills and a strong performance from Everly, who seemed to have disappeared after this movie. Madhouse might not suit all tastes, but will probably be most appreciated on a cold, dark night. Well worth a look.

Thank you Neil Pike for your help with this review.

The Last Horror Film (1982) Review

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Vinny Durand (Joe Spinell) is a delusional taxi driver who dreams of making a big screen horror movie with the ultra-famous Jana Bates (Caroline Munro). Disregarding some relentless teasing from the neighborhood losers and after his mother asks him to “quit talking the crazy talk” Vinny heads off the Cannes Film Festival to woo Jana at any cost.

The Last Horror Film, which is by no means a classic, still remains an interesting experiment for many reasons. For one, the locale, Cannes, France allows the filmmakers to get Marcello Mastroianni in an unusual cameo! Also, the way the film likens Vinny to John Hinkley who had just shot President Regan to get Jodie Foster’s attention was a unique angle. Relating Vinny to a real life attempted assassin creates a slightly uncomfortable feeling, but the movie itself borders enough in Ed Wood-land to lift the mean-spiritedness right off it!

The late, great Joe Spinell is a knockout as Vinny. He slithers his greased up nekkid torso along a projection screen and breaks into crazed tears whenever he deals with his mother (played by his real life mom). An actor who always gave his all, Spinell takes what is essentially the character from Maniac (deranged yet tortured) and puts a fresh spin on it. On the other hand, the beautiful Caroline Munro is good but her hair is so confusingly bad (as is her wardrobe) she becomes more of a distraction than anything else. But check out her beige husband (played by her then real life husband) as he attempts to act his way out of a paper bag. He failed.

This movie does have some nice moments. There’s clever dialog, mostly at the beginning, and the filmmakers captured enough of the festival to give the viewer a flavor for it. But the highlight of The Last Horror Film feature clips from fictitious horror movies that usually end with a woman being brutally slaughtered. A scene where a panel of judges watch Jana get her face burned off, only to have them vote her as best actress over Meryl Streep (!) is hilarious. In other words, it’s silly enough to hold your attention but like a lot of the topless women lying along the beach, it’s just an inflated attempt at perfection.

This was Joe and Caroline’s third and final film together. They both appeared in Maniac and the awesomely bad yet incredibly entertaining Starcrash. If you’re a fan of either actor, this is a must-see.

House On The Edge Of The Park (1980) Review

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Director Ruggero Deodato made a name for himself when he unleashed the infamous and unforgettable Cannibal Holocaust in 1980. That same year he accepted a job on House on the Edge of the Park solely for financial reasons. He shot the film in two weeks and probably forgot about it. Yet it remains one of his finest films and probably one of the best rape/revenge flicks in the pantheons of exploitation.

An offbeat mixture of Straw Dogs and Of Mice and Men, Retro-Slashers fave, David Hess (Hitch-Hike) plays Alex, a cold-blooded rapist who also likes to boogie! His idiot man-child pal, Ricky (Giovanni Lombardo Radice from The Gates of Hell) is bit kinder but is so under Alex’s spell, he’d do just about anything for him. About a year after Alex brutally raped and strangled a pretty blonde, he’s working at his car shop and is approached by two yuppie types. Not only are they having car troubles but they also appear to suffer from being very rich and very bored. Beautiful Lisa (Annie Belle) gets the bright idea to invite the two bohemians to a small party. What starts out as some rich brats toying with their new lower class buddies becomes a night of terror as Alex turns the table on the partygoers and holds them hostage in their home.

What stands out most about Edge Of The Park is that though it’s quite brutal, it very seldom crosses the line of bad taste. Sure, women are objectified left and right and there a few gruesome moments, but except for the scene with a nubile virgin and a razor, the proceedings are actually sort of fun.

This is thanks to the two leads. David Hess is the master of sleaze. A hulking presence in this and Last House on the Left, he’s the quintessential rapist. I mean that in a good way. Another actor might take a role like this and not try to inject any fun into it (he is a rapist after all), but Hess approaches his bad guys from a different angle and brings a sort of sinister charisma that’s difficult to duplicate. Giovanni Lombardo Radice is the standout of this movie. His pathetic yet lovable take on Ricky is nothing short of amazing. Check out his mind-blowing disco number that is both hilarious and sad. You want him to exact revenge on his teasers. He manages to take out a fairly sympathetic character and makes the perfect companion piece for Alex. The rest of the cast is full of Italian exploitation faves. Annie Bell (Tiger Joe), Christian Borromeo (Tenebre) and Lorainne Del Selle (Cannibal Ferox) are very good in their respective roles and guide this crazy film with ease.

Deodato, a king of exploitation, throws everything into the pot. There’s plenty of choice nudity and lots of nasty dialog that you’ll be quoting later (“Shut up or I’ll make your chest look like a checkerboard” is a favorite line of mine). Deodato may have thought he was making another throwaway horror movie, but Edge Of The Park remains one of the least offensive and most entertaining movies featuring wall to wall rape. Well done Ruggero!

Hide And Go Shriek (1988) Review

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By the end of the 80s, the slasher genre had practically hung out its machete to dry. With very few movies able to find a theatrical release, many of the lower budgeted fare found its niche in the home video market, but slashers were becoming more of a rarity by the minute. Hide and Go Shriek was one of the last (and frankly, one of the best titled) hurrahs of a dying breed. Unfortunately, though it’s a fun ride, this movie has more gristle than meat. But oh what a way to end the movement!

A small group of loathsome teens are preparing on heading into summer and then college. They get the brilliant idea to have one last sex-filled outing in a furniture store, which is owned by one of the teen’s father. Unbeknownst to them, a tattooed ex-con, who works at Fine Furniture (!) lives in the back. The teens set up shop and begin a night of trysts and games of Hide and Go Seek. But someone else has stayed after hours and they begin playing a deadly game of dress-up and die.

Hide and Go Shriek plays its hand with an unusually sleazy manner. Not that the murders are particularly graphic, but there’s enough homoerotic subtext to keep even the most practiced film geek on their toes. From an early and hilarious scene involving two boys working out together before one of them says “see you in the showers,” and takes a healthy bite out of a banana to the killer dressing in drag, it’s a feast of euphemisms and cross-dressing.

It would be easy to say that this movie was oddly cast with untypically regular looking kids with a penchant for dinosaur earrings, surfer shorts and skinny ties, but alas, it was only the end of the 80s where stone-washed was a household word. With a mixture of good acting and bad acting, the killer and the bimbo (Annette Sinclair) stand out as the most interesting and talented of the bunch. But Rebunka Jones (credited here as Bunky!) comes across as the most memorable character in the film. In all her banana clip glory, she sneers and leers so much you start fantasizing about her ugly demise. My favorite line of delivery comes after she and her beau are discovered breaking in a new bed during a spirited round of the titular game, and she angrily retorts “Buzzzzzz Ooooffffff Buzzzzzzz Head.”

At any rate, the kids are appropriately irritating, there’s some nudity, jaw-dropping bad acting, death by sink, a pretty good decapitation, some homoerotic undertones only strengthened by a breakdown one of the male characters has after his ‘friend’ is dispatched, some cool tattoo art and a very bad muzak version of “Walk This Way”. In other words, a must see!

Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers (1988) Review

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There have been more misses than hits in the pantheon of the Halloween franchise. I guess whenever you try to string along a series of movies based on only the most minimal of story, that’s bound to happen. Fortunately, when this indefatigable legacy churns out a good movie, then it’s really good.

Such is the case with Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. Sure, it’s ain’t Chekov, but arguably, it stays in vein with the original Halloween, which is arguably the most accomplished of all slasher flicks. It’s brutal, yet restrained and even after almost 30 years, it remains a timeless and terrifying classic. But it’s not really the film to thank for The Return. That credit goes to Halloween 2, the first film to link Laurie Strode to Michael’s lineage. Although it was only meant to be a nifty little twist in the first sequel, come 8 films later, this thread bare concept has been used ad nauseum to link Michael to everything from the Druids to Josh Hartnett (now that’s scary!). The Return took a cue from Part 2 and took it one step further by giving a now seemingly deceased Laurie a daughter (Jamie Lee Curtis would come back for H20 and mysteriously she’d appear with a son instead). Jamie (Danielle Harris, whose character name is an obvious nod to Ms. Curtis), is a forlorn child dealing with the loss of her mother. She’s been taken in by the Carruthers family who are doing their best to make Jamie feel welcome. Well almost their best. Their teenage daughter, Rachel (Ellie Cornell) has kind of a love/hate relationship with the whole new family addition thing, especially when it gets in the way of her seeing her mancub Brady (Sasha Jenson) on Halloween because she has to take Jamie Trick or Treating. Although Jamie wants to be wanted, she becomes a bit more concerned about a man who’s been following her – a man she believes to be the boogeyman. By the time darkness sets on Haddonfield on all Hallows’ Eve, everyone will come to believe that Jamie is right.

Danielle Harris, who would grow up to be a very beautiful woman, is great in the role as Jamie. For a child actress to have endured what she did here and in the less stellar fifth entry and remain normal is quite a feat these days. For her thankless work in some not so good movies (she ruled the roost in the horrible Urban Legend), she was given a part in Rob Zombie’s highly anticipated remake of the original. She is definitely the high point of the Return but the ultra vixen-ish Kathleen Kinmont as Kelly Meeker adds just the right amount of bitch as Rachel’s arch nemesis. Kathleen’s part is played to perfection all the way to her T-shirt which proclaims “Cops Do It by the Book”. Kinmont also became a familiar and welcome face in latter part of the slasher cycle. Of course, no one comes close to Donald Pleasance’s consistently hysterical portrayal of Dr. Loomis. There are a few crazed scenes featuring the obsessive Loomis having kind of grand time. Check him out with the preacher (the late and very great Patrick Cranshaw).

One of the elements director Dwight Little took from the original is maintaining a claustrophobic atmosphere. The second half of The Return takes place mostly in Sheriff Meeker’s house (Beau Starr) and there are some nice suspenseful moments to be had. Also, the sub-plot about mob mentality might not have been fully realized, but it’s an interesting comment on how we as a society react when faced with something unknown or seemingly unstoppable. It’s a nice touch and it gives the town of Haddonfield a bit of extra personality.

The Return is nothing more or nothing less than a good slasher film. As straightforward as a ruler, this movie leaps happily from Point A to Point B without much concern for anything extraneous. By the time this movie had come out in 1988, simplicity in the genre had all but disappeared. The slasher cycle was drawing to a close and we were gearing up for the post-modern movement of self-aware horror. That kind of makes The Return a little bit of a time capsule. It’s one of the last films to capture the pure innocence of the sub-genre. Contrary to politically correct beliefs, movies that adhered strictly to the guidelines were not offensive at all. In fact, how can you not look back at that time and see a more unaffected era when an audience wasn’t so jaded that they had to keep one step ahead of a film. Even with such an exact formula, we allowed ourselves to get caught up in the chaos. And that’s a beautiful thing.

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