Splatter University (1984) Review

A psycho escapes from a mental institution. Three years later, the female students and teachers of St. Trinians College fall victim to the knife wielding slasher. The new teacher on campus (Francine Forbes) thinks she knows the killer’s identity. After the deaths of her friends, the young teacher confronts the killer in the hallways of the college.

Splatter University is an entertaining slasher film for all of the wrong reasons. Director Robert Haines is so inept that he allows numerous mistakes and gaffs into the film. A few mistakes include bad post production dubbing, dead bodies that move, and a doctor with bloodstains on his coat before he’s attacked by the killer. The mistakes are often more entertaining than the actual film.

Writers Michael Cunningham, Robert Haines, and John Michaels produced dialog filled with crude humor and bad one liners. Unfortunately, they forgot to add depth to their characters and suspense. Gore consists of knife penetrations and plenty of squirting blood. Even though the camera zooms in on girls wearing tight jeans and shirts, there is no nudity except for a cover of Look magazine. When you see the female students, you’ll be glad they kept their clothes on. The soundtrack is one annoying song that plays throughout the movie.

Francine Forbes is the only real actor in the cast. She brings a charming innocence to this film. The rest of the cast must be friends or relatives of the filmmakers. They obviously weren’t hired on talent or good looks. The killer’s identity is a bit of a surprise, but the actor looks too silly to be menacing.

Splatter University is so badly made that it’s actually entertaining. If you’re looking for frights and suspense, then look somewhere else. Splatter U. works best as a party film, something to watch with a room full of friends. It’s good, sleazy fun.

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