The Slasher Witch Hunt part 3: Religious Con Men

Slasher movies are the work of the Devil and any child who watches one will turn evil and be damned to hell. Such was the battle cry for traveling hucksters posing as preachers during the 1980s. These gypsies made a dishonest living traveling from town to town warning about the diabolical forces lurking in heavy metal music, Saturday morning cartoons, toy boxes, and slasher movies. Often times churches would invite these con artists in as guest speakers during revivals to help improve attendance and plate offerings. Anyone attending the seminars would hear the “TRUTH” about the evil forces tempting young people into a life of sin and debauchery. Attendees were encouraged to steal their children’s belongings, bring them to the special prayer service, and then throw the offensive items on a bonfire after the lecture.

Of course, the lectures had more to do with urban legends or outright lies than any real truth. The murders in {insert slasher title here} were real because the director was a devil worshipper who sacrificed the cast to his dark lord. Some horror films were cursed, The Exorcist and Poltergeist are usually the ones mentioned, and every member of the cast and crew died in accidents just a few years after the film was released. If you watch said horror film then you too would be cursed. Halloween is a loving tribute to a pagan god and promotes the sacrifices of young children on Halloween night. When it came to making up bullshit about movies, these guys were very creative.

These con men played on the fears of parents too stupid to realize teenagers often go through a period of rebellion. The con man was always quick to point out it was never the parent’s fault if the child became a delinquent. With the con man’s help, a parent could save their child’s soul. All the parent had to do was buy a book or video (written by or starring the con man) at the seminar and follow the helpful steps. In the back of these books parents would usually find form letters and the addresses of media companies and government agencies so they could register complaints against the evil products controlling their children.

When the popularity of slasher films began to wane in the mid-80s, the con men shifted their “TRUTH” spotlight to other cultural evils. Freddy, Jason, and Michael Myers took a back seat to the dangers of watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, playing with “Pokey-man” cards, and reading Harry Potter novels. By changing the con’s focus to whatever happens to be popular at the time, these crooks ensure perpetual employment. It won’t be long before the Twilight series comes under fire for turning confused young minds into blood drinking ghouls.

Now for a bit of a disclaimer. This article is not an attack on any religion or people who have religious beliefs. This article is intended as a look back at a select group of con artist who used a crusade against the slasher genre as a way to make a quick buck.