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Remakes

Terror Train rolls back into town

, 10

terrortrain

Some of you may no doubt recall a remake of Terror Train was announced by Lionsgate a ways back, set to star the lovely former A-list darling Thora Birch. Imaginatively rechristened Train, the project strangely morphed into a knockoff of Hostel 2, and was relegated to the shelf, where it remains to this day.

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100% less Terror, 100% more backwards Rs!

And so ended hopes for a new Terror Train….until today.

The fine chaps over at Bloody Disgusting got a tipoff today that the Freefall Films official website listed none other than a true remake of the 1980 classic on their production slate. What’s more, filming is supposed to take place as early as this May!

The wild card here is director Alex Wright; a journeyman TV director, who does some writing and acting on the side, who’s filmography doesn’t particularly indicate someone with the chops to revamp a slasher classic (though for the record, he did write, uh, Wishmaster 3).

At least they got the storyline halfway right, as the official synopsis tells us….
Amy and her friend Stephanie are set for the ultimate party weekend: a Halloween fraternity bash aboard a moving train. But when a costumed psychopath starts killing the passengers one by one, it’s up to Amy to stop the murderer.

Will it shape up to be a fun-as-hell, largely respectful homage/comeback like My Bloody Valentine 3D? Or will it be pathetic, sub-Urban Legend dross like April Fools Day and Prom Night? Time will tell….but at least it looks better than the Train Thora took.

Return Of The Birdcane

, 4

srowbirdcane
The official site for SORORITY ROW (2009) recently opened at the well-named thetapi-ordie.com – not much there right now but I did catch this clear look of the new birdcane! Although it isn’t as prominent weapon as in the original (who wants a straight repeat anyway, certainly not I), it fills me with warmth inside to see shots like this – look, it’s even got the gold head!

About 10 years ago I made a custom Eric Slater action figure complete with birdcane, until someone “cleaning up” my room accidently broke the gold head off. I gotta glue that shit back on sometime.

But I digress – birdcane = goodness. Keep an eye on Retro Slashers as we’ve tapped SORORITY ROW for Special Coverage – we recently conducted an Exclusive Interview with pretty cast member Margo Harshman.

Sorority Row (2009) Theatrical Trailer

, 5

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Took me a while to digest the trailer for SORORITY ROW (2009). While HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW (1983) is my favorite retro slasher, this redux is one of the increasing number of “requels” – remakes that feel more like sequels. At the very least I’ll be watching to play catch-out on a number of confirmed references back to the original that only fans like us would catch, like “sea pig” and the bird cane.

H2 Coming Along Nicely, Bloodily

, 2

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You’ve got to hand it to Rob Zombie, you really do. Some of you may think dude don’t know how to make a horror movie, but he sure knows how to harness the infinite power of the internets. Whereas other major genre productions would make every effort to keep photos to themselves before dumping them onto websites during release week (looking at you, Platinum Dunes), Rob’s taken a more direct tactic straight from day one of filming his sequel to his HALLOWEEN redux, provisionally titled as H2. He’s been releasing pics every few days – some from set, some from-film, some interesting, (like a bearded unmasked Myers) and some boring (people standing around in the distance… but by releasing a steady flow of pics almost daily, he’s ensured the horror news outlets follow with just as many news items calling out each new set of pics. And that equals – all eyes on his flick, all the time.

I honestly don’t know where the sites get the energy to keep up with that steady stream… or maybe I just don’t have enough creative streak to make article #200 on new H2 photos sound interesting. So I definitely envy their stamina. I’m certainly interested in the flick, but we’ll only post periodic updates here at Retro Slashers so as not to clog up the place.

If you are looking to keep up with all the new photos from Rob, might I recommend the recently revamped Official HALLOWEEN Website (or HM.Com to us online old-timers) so you don’t get lost between news on the latest tepid-looking studio horror flicks (geez, I really am starting to show my age, aren’t I?). HM also get first crack at exclusive pics, so bookmark that joint.

Below pic gets a thumbs-up from Team Retro – in just this one image, it looks like Laurie Strode’s going through far worse then the poor-honey scrapes and dried-up voicebox she did under Jamie Lee Curtis’ trip to hospital in the 1981 first sequel. Not that there’s any reason to compare the two beyond the number 2 in their titles – H2 isn’t a remake of HALLOWEEN 2 in any way. You’ll recall Rob Zombie already blew part two’s she’s-his-sister wad in his part one redux.

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My Bloody Valentine 3D Part 2?

, 10

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If you can’t get enough of Todd Farmer in MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D where he not only wrote the screenplay but beared his sweaty muscled flesh on film (talk about a dedicated guy!), you’ll get a kick out of his Official Site where he maintains a journal that seamlessly mixes industry experiences with family life.

While there’s been no official announcement as of yet, I couldn’t help but notice he brought up “sequel” no less than six times in his journal entry on blazing through the MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D’s publicity tour back in Feb. Now, while I can’t stand internet outlets making a mountain out of a molehill where news is concerned, The Toddster is not a man who minces words (he’s merely a man who writes words that mince characters into bloody pulps). So if the man mentions “sequel” talk in public, six times (“I shot him six times!” …HALLOWEEN 2 flashback, sorry), you best sit up and consider. And hope, if it’s your prerogative. And why the hell not, flick was fun on a fuckstick, and that’s no lie.

I’d personally rather see the same creative team reunite and apply the 3D model to another underloved retro slasher that would offer ops for inventive murders instead of being confined to more pickaxe tossing. Let me put my vote in right here, right now for HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME 3D! 3D shishkabob, anyone?

Extreme Makeover

, 1

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Fangoria got some exclusive pics of what FX maestro Gary Tunnicliffe would do if he got the chance to encore on the revamped Pinhead makeup for the upcoming reboot of Hellraiser (to be helmed by The Martyrs director Pascal Laugier).

While it’s definitely an interesting article, I have to say I don’t like his take at all….but that’s just me.

Head over to Fango & judge for yourself!

UPDATE!
Well, after these pics started going around, some confusion began to set in regarding the fact that they represented what Tunnicliffe WOULD do if he redesigned Pinhead…not what IS being done in the much anticipated reboot.

To clarify, director Pascal Laugier contacted Brad Miska, overlord of Bloody Disgusting, and had this to say:

Hello Brad,

I’m more or less forced to write you this message since the supposedly new Pinead photos are confusing people…

The stills of the new Pinhead you published on your site a few days ago have NOTHING TO DO with the official HELLRAISER reboot project I’m preparing.

I know you already made it clear in your article but you know how internet works : these photos being published in various sites without any details or explanation, a lot of fans seem to think that the new Pinhead will look like that. My answer is : NO HE WON’T.

This version of Pinhead came from the vision of Gary J. Tunnicliffe and not mine or my producer’s. I never met Gary and although I respect him a lot, I want to be very clear about the fact that my vision of the character will be TOTALLY different.

The new look of Pinhead is a VERY imortant matter to all of us.

Pascal Laugier

….There you go. I, personally, am relieved.

Madman Returns?

, 4

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Eerie sightings began occurring at horror cons over the past year….Paul Ehlers – the one, the only, Madman Marz – began turning up with his superbly crafted fantasy knives, and a very interesting sign in tow….

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The warm, viking-like Ehlers began proclaiming that he was eager to launch a sequel/reboot to his beloved retro slasher Madman, in a relaunch entitled Madman Marz: The Legend Lives to hopefully go into production sometime in 2008 or 2009.

Well, not one to let grass grow under his casket, your entrepid reporter decided to contact Ehlers himself, to get the skinny on Marz’ return, straight from the horse’s mouth.

His response, recieved only later that night, went as follows….

MADMAN has a Mission…..”NO HAPPY CAMPERS!” So “Heads Up” my
little “Woodkins”….did I hear that? Are you talking to ME?!
….so many heads, so little time! Keep watching the trees….
I’ll be waiting.
All the Beast!
MADMAN

As you can see, the results were….inconclusive. We certainly get no details of, well, any sort, but the project wasn’t exactly shot down either. It certainly seems like ol’ Marz is eager get back to work, regardless.

Ehlers regularly checks his MySpace (www.MySpace.com/TheMadmanMarz) page, so hit him up, fans….head out into cyberspace and say Madman Marz above a whisper….who knows….he may just hear you….and you know what happens then….over

Burning remake still smoldering?

, 10

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Within the last year or so, rumblings of a remake of the Weinsteins’ 1981 slasher classic The Burning began to surface, coinciding with both the original film’s release on dvd, and the box office success of the revamped Halloween (also from the Weinsteins). All has been quiet for the time being, but on the eve of the sure-to-be-a-hit Friday The 13th remake, the brothers Weinstein would have to be crazy not to seriously consider resurrecting Cropsy & his shears.

So what would the new model entail? The souls over at the ever…uh, dependable IMDB have this proposed plot outline up:

Thirteen years ago, at Camp Blackfoot in Upstate New York, a group of vengeful kids rebelled against a pedophile camp caretaker named Cropsy, who in their bout of revenge was burned nearly to death and disfigured forever. Now, at Camp Stonewater, one of the boys responsible for Cropsy’s deformations is a supervisor looking over a group of sex-driven camp counselors on a canoe trip up Blackfoot River. Unaware that Cropsy has recently been released from the hospital and is out for blood, the campers become the prime targets in Cropsys sheering reign of revenge.

So….basically just The Burning, with added pedophilia? Some early reports also had Cropsy’s origin retold at an apartment complex where he was the janitor, making the summer camp element rather random.

In a recent issue of Rue Morgue, original director Tony Maylam said that he was considering a new film revolving around the Cropsy campfire legend, but that project appears unrelated to the potential remake.

Will Cropsy return? I think we’ll get our answer when Friday The 13th‘s box office tally is added up in a couple of weeks….

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