Retro Slashers

I once read in Video Watchdog, “If the eyes are the window to the soul, then Lucio Fulci is the ultimate voyeur”. This is perhaps the most concise description of Fulci’s eyeball torture mastery. Not only are eyes the most expressive part of our body, they are also the most delicate and unprotected. It didn’t take long for exploitation and horror filmmakers to see (ha!) that ocular damage was a great way to make audiences squirm, and when done right, it’s damn near unrelenting. Here’s just a few of the best eyeball scenes in the genre.

5. Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982): Poor Rick, he really got his when Jason squeezed his head so tight those baby blues just shot right out! In 3-D no less, this remains one of the most shocking scenes in the series.

4. HellBent (2004): Ah, it’s about time that a glass eye configured into a slasher flick, and HellBent did it beautifully. There’s a great moment when knife comes to eye and it’s as jarring and stylish as any horror flick of recent years.

3. Halloween (1978): Laurie has had it! I mean, seriously had it. She gives Michael a little sumthin’ sumthin’ when he finds her hiding in the closet. No wire hangers, please!

2. Opera (1987): Zoinks! No actual eyeball impalement, but those crazy needles taped to Betty’s eyes are squirm worthy! She forced to watch friends murdered or risk ripping her eyelids to shreds! Dang, she needs those!

1. Zombi (1979): Nobody does it better than Fulci and his infamous eyeball puncture scene is the stuff legends are made of. This movie is a must for fans of gross out cinema.

Honorable Mentions (Mostly of the Non-Slasher Kind):

Evil Dead 2 (1987): Bobbie Jo got a little taste of having a third eye in this totally gross and wonderfully hilarious scene from a groundbreaking film.

Flash Gordon (1980): Ugh! When Klytus (Peter Wyngarde) gets a ghoulishly gross comeuppance featuring oozing eyes, a nightmarish scene is born.

Friday the 13th Part III (again!) (1982): Vera can’t get a break. First she’s saddled on a blind date with Shelly, then she’s hounded by a biker gang and finally gets a harpoon shot in her eye. This was not a great trip for her, I presume.

Kill Bill 2 (2004): Man o’ man, Daryl Hannah’s famous eye-popping scene had me not only squirming in my seat, it still makes me woozy to this day! Great, unpredictable stuff from Tarantino, a new master of shock.

Single White Female (1992): Steven Weber is a bit of a louse in this pix, but it certainly doesn’t mean he should get the pointy end of a stiletto in his eye. Oh well, I didn’t actually feel that bad about it…

Who knew that all those years ago when I was writing about my adoration for slashers for a fanzine called Debaser that I would find myself the instigator of mass corruption. OK, that’s a complete exaggeration, but it is true that the editor, Ryan Orvis, was not only reading the stuff I was writing for him, he was also paying attention. He recently wrote a very cool little slasher bio (if you will) on his love of exploitation and his awakening to the world of slashers. A place he doesn’t want to leave anytime soon. And I was pleased to be one of the people who led him down the path to destruction.

I thought this made a neat companion piece with something I wrote for RS some time ago called A Girl and Her Horror Obesession. There I am, changing one mind at a time (OK, another exaggeration, but the let the girl dream, willya!). Thanks Ryan for the sweet words and congrats on not only discovering slashers are the bee’s knees but also getting engaged to a girl who agrees! What a poet I am…

All Hollywood Video and Movie Gallery stores in the US are going to close.   Massive liquidations sales are due to start soon.  This is really bad news for slasher and horror fans because these stores would carry extreme and uncut titles too controversial for family friendly Blockbuster.  It’s also bad news for slasher and horror film makers because it means fewer outlets for their films.  The one positive is the liquidation sales will be a great chance for slasher fans to add to their collections.  I’m already salivating at the thoughts of plundering the local Hollywood Video.  When I get through their horror section is going to look like a Viking raiding party attacked the place.