Machete Script Review

We all want Eli Roth’s THANKSGIVING to be made into a feature film, but don’t count out MACHETE!

We all want Eli Roth’s THANKSGIVING to be made into a feature film, but don’t count out MACHETE!

Shock Till You Drop have posted a brief clip of the original ending to Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter which will be included on the upcoming Deluxe Edition DVD

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead director Declan O’Brien has revealed that the movie is set to make its worldwide debut in London at the annual Frightfest event that will take place between 27th and 31st August
Today, Rob Zombie published yet more ‘teaser’ images from his latest effort H2 (Halloween 2)

Genre legend Wes Craven is reportedly ‘hurt’ by remake machine Platinum Dunes not contacting him regarding their reboot of the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise

Fangoria have claimed that Hostel director Eli Roth is currently in talks with Universal Pictures about helming their planned remake of Tobe Hooper’s underrated slasher The Funhouse
America leads the way when it comes to releasing slasher movies on DVD, with lesser-known gems like Sweet Sixteen and Final Exam finding their way onto feature-packed special editions, and companies like Shriek Show, Code Red and Blue Underground bringing even greater obscurities kicking and screaming into the digital age. But slasher fans continue to wait for a handful of missing classics from the 80s golden age to turn up on Region 1 DVD, which is why Retro Slashers recommends a trip to Europe – and the UK in particular – to fill those annoying gaps in your collection. So grab your passport, pack a multiregional DVD player and leave that sunscreen behind, as we head off to investigate the joys of Region 2…
CURTAINS skated onto DVD in the UK in 2007, courtesy of Cornerstone Media. First the good news: it’s uncut – although it never was the goriest of slashers, to be honest. The bad news, however, is that it’s a poor-quality 4:3 video transfer with washed-out colours (which prove particularly noticeable during the blurry darkness of the final chase) and muffled sound. Worth seeking out? No. An old VHS copy is just as desirable.
THE MUTILATOR has had a couple of European DVD releases, the first being an uncut German edition from Dragon, which is now as rare as it is incredibly expensive. In the UK, however, it’s still fairly easy to get hold of the 2003 Vipco release, despite the fact that it’s also now out of print. What makes this edition less appealing is that the British Board of Film Classification ordered 7 seconds of cuts for “sexual violence” to the fishhook murder. In any case, the “Fall Break” theme song is arguably more gruelling… Worth seeking out? Yes, actually. The cuts are minimal and the affected scene is still shocking enough to retain its power.
Another 80s slasher still widely available (though technically out of print) in the UK is 1982’s DEATH SCREAMS, a.k.a. House of Death. Thanks to Vipco, fans are treated to an uncut edition with unspectacular (but watchable) fullscreen picture quality. If the censors, had wanted to cut anything, perhaps thirty minutes’ worth of teenagers wandering around a fairground from the first hour would have been a start. Worth seeking out? If you’re a fan.
1987’s underrated backwoods slasher BERSERKER: THE NORDIC CURSE has been kicking around on DVD in the UK since 2001, thanks to Moonstone Pictures. As well as being easy to find at exceptionally cheap prices, it’s uncut, the transfer is watchable and, if you’re really lucky, you might find it in a double-pack with the Wings Hauser zombie movie, Mutant (a.k.a. Night Warning). How’s that for a perfect double-bill of mid-eighties low-budget horror? Worth seeking out? Yes! A pristine digital remastering would only ruin this one.




2009 marks the twenty-fifth anniversary since artistic freedom almost became extinct in the UK. The ‘video nasty’ witch-hunt, which saw moral watchdogs, tabloid newspapers and the police joining hand-in-hand on their clampdown against immortal and sick filth
I have to admit mild trepidation when I decided to make Shot on Video Month a reality. I mean, most SOV movies are POS, you know? And I’m watching a lot of films I haven’t seen before. I was taking a big chance and although I’m famous for being a big adventurer John Huston style, I was still afraid of what I’d be putting myself through.
Luckily, I made a great choice when I picked Woodchipper Massacre as a must see SOV selection. Made in 1988 for around $400, Massacre might not have a ton of blood and guts (or rather none at all), but it does have a lot of heart and a wonderful sense of humor to make it much more than simply bearable. Can we say love? Yes, I am in love with this little homemade regional effort and I’m not ashamed to say so.
Massacre is about this single parent family. There are three kids: Jon (Jon McBride who also wrote and directed): the happy go lucky teenage brother, Denise (Denise Edeal): the lovesick tween with a fancy mullet and Tom (Tom Casiello): an adorable redheaded kid with glasses. Their Dad (Perren Page, reminding a bit of a sedated Lloyd Kaufman) has to leave town on a business trip and invites Aunt Tess (Patricia McBride, Jon’s mom who must be an incredibly cool lady) to oversee things. At first she seems like a semi-senile but sweet old lady. However, once Dad splits, the shit hits the fan. Aunt Tess is a bitch! She sets about making the kids’ life hell, even telling Tom he has to give up his Rambo knife which he just got in the mail. Needless to say, it ends in a scuffle and only one is left standing… and it ain’t Aunt Tess! Mildly upset by the killing of their Aunt, these spunky kids devise a way to get rid of her and it involves the nifty woodchipper out back. After they dismember and freeze her, they feed her remains to the woodchipper and then go about their chores and lives as normal. I mean, these kids bounce back fast!
Things are looking up for this Brady-kids-on-crack brood until Cousin Kim (Kim Bailey) shows up, straight outta the pen and desperate to find his mom so she can help him with a money “issue.” Bring out the woodchipper, kids…
Jon McBride was a youngin’ when he wrote, directed and starred in Massacre. That same year he also made something called Cannibal Campout, which is on my To Watch pile, and I for one can’t wait. Massacre is far more engaging than it has any right being, considering the budget and mostly inexperienced cast. Yet, it all works. McBride has a keen talent for comedy and the kids have a great flair for delivery. There’s also a bit of technical prowess to be had and the Casio sounding score is so much fun! Plus Denise’s mullet… well… I just can’t put it into words. Oh yeah, and there’s air guitar!